TRANSCRIPT
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The Rabbi Daniel Lapin Podcast
Episode: Things About Your Father You Never Knew But Should
Date: 07/21/23 Length: 1:00:31
Daniel Lapin 0:00
Welcome happy warriors to another episode of The Rabbi Daniel Lapin show where I your rabbi reveal how the world really works. This show is not a show for clowns and creeps and crooks and cranks. No, it is a show for happy warriors. Above all, it is not a show for tennis balls who float down the gutter of life. No, it's a show for happy warriors, who sees the challenge each and every day, who struggle against the forces of entropy, who struggle against the forces of resistance that prevent them, try to prevent them from achieving their ends of improving their five F's. That's right. This is a show for happy warriors, not for people who want to be massaged with warm butter. No happy warriors do not need to hear only things with which they agree. They don't need to be massaged with warm butter, happy warriors are capable of hearing tough information. Happy warriors, if there is bad news out there want to know about it as soon as possible so they can begin to prepare their fortifications against it. Happy warriors, delight and thrill in the fight against all those forces that tried to obstruct us in our progress in improving and growing our families and our finances, our faith and our friendships, and our physical fitness. All of that is part of the joy of being a happy warrior. Now, part of the happy warrior equation is family. And family means not only the little children that you bring into the world, with you and your spouse cooperating and collaborating and connecting. No, it goes even beyond that. Family is siblings if you're lucky enough to have. And family is parents as well. And that's where things begin to be interesting. And I'll tell you why. In the April 2023 issue of the Journal of Marriage and Family, I saw very credible information. And I say credible because it's not just university studies and academic statements. There's more to it than that. There were interviews and surveys. And what's more, this seems to correspond to what I experience in my encounters.
Daniel Lapin 3:12
You know, I am privileged to be able to lecture and speak to many, many people I speak of lots of different churches throughout the I speak at a number of synagogues. And I speak for many, many business organizations. An exciting one coming up in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, in a few weeks time. And I speak to people there's certain standard questions I asked in one form or another, hoping to be able to take the temperature of the audience; have a sense of what's going on in this particular little corner of the culture. And some of my questions revolve around family. And so this doesn't surprise me. Because what I'm about to share with you is what I experienced and encounter in my conversations with people. Here is the point in a nutshell. About 20% about a quarter of adult children either are or have been estranged from a parent, that's just putting it boldly. Let's, let's dig down a little bit. Okay. What this means is that about one in four people, and it's talking specifically about people in the age group from 18 to 37, 18 to 37-year-olds, about a quarter of these people are estranged from a parent now mine my guess and I could be wrong and you know I love hearing from you on the We Happy Warriors website. There's a place to connect with me and as many Have you ever discovered I not only read but I respond.
Daniel Lapin 3:32
And, you can, by the way, you can become a Happy Warrior really simply and easily. Just go to the website RabbiDanielLapin.com, RabbiDanielLapin.com. And there, you will do a little bit of searching in the headings. And you will see how to join our community of happy warriors. Derive the encouragement and benefit of being with others who try to accomplish exactly what you're trying to accomplish. And also discover the thrill of being able to help somebody else. Because life is much more exciting. When you are a giver, more than a taker. And through the happy warrior community, you will find that there are people eager for your experience, eager for your encouragement, eager for your guidance and advice. So become a happy warrior. Join our community and Rabbi Daniel lapin.com. And while you're at it, and I never realized that this is a such an important thing. But I'm very blessed to have on my team, people who know a lot more than I do. And I've been asked to make sure that I ask you to subscribe to this show. So whatever platform you're listening on, there is always an avenue or an opportunity to subscribe. It's easy on Facebook, it's easy on almost all the platforms, you can subscribe, and that is something that works well for you. And it works well for us. And on the off chance that you change your mind down the road. You feel it's not working well, you just unsubscribe. That's really easy. But meanwhile, if you wouldn't mind, go ahead and do us both a favor and hit the subscribe.
Daniel Lapin 7:37
So, so here's the thing. So about 26% of people between the ages of 18 and 37 is estranged from their parents. Now, here's where it starts to get interesting, happy warriors. Do you think you know what I liked about this? This work at in the April issue of the Journal of Marriage and family is that they were granular with the data. They didn't just leave Oh 26% of Americans are estranged from a parent. No they dug down to first of all, take a look at whether the estrangement is the same estrangement figures for by estrangement means not talking to out of touch out of contact. We have listeners in many different countries. And I want to just make sure that if I use a word that you would you might not be familiar, I just want to make sure you know what it means. So instead of just saying oh, about a quarter of Americans between the ages of 18 and 37 are have no contact they've separated they've isolated themselves, they've disconnected the results from a parent maybe estranged themselves or unfair and it drills down to see whether it's the same for fathers and mothers. Okay, happy warriors. What do you think? If you've been listening for a little while I got a feeling you're gonna guess this right? Do you think there's more estrangement from fathers? Or more estranged from from mothers? Or do you think it's exactly the same? A, B and C, a more entrenchment from fathers be more estrangement from others? See exactly the same. So what do you think happy warriors A, B, or C?
Daniel Lapin 8:47
Well, I I would love there to be a way for us to connect simultaneously says that I can hear from you all as well that we could sort of do a poll right now. And up on the screen would come the answer. And I would tell you exactly what it looks like. But I can't do that. And so we have to self examine each and every one of us ourselves. And now I'll give you the figure 26% are estranged from fathers. Only about 6% are estranged from mothers. Isn't that interesting? Makes perfect sense. Right? Five, nearly between four and five times more people, let's say youngish people 18 to 37.
Daniel Lapin 9:38
More bad four or five times of them are estranged from fathers more than from mothers. Okay, I've told you in the past a story and it fits the story perfectly. I will remind you and this was told to me by a terrific guy, the late Chuck Colson who had become ensnared in the Watergate crisis with Richard Nixon and Chuck Colson spent some time in jail when he came out, realizing how dreadful the American incarceration system is, and how ghastly being in prison is, and the extent to which Islamic indoctrination is allowed in prison. It is very difficult to get Judeo Christian counseling or teaching or, or ministering in prison, it's a lot harder. He started a prison ministries, which is a in my view, a very wonderful organization, a fantastic ministry. And what he did was to just quickly remind you, he, he arranged for to send volunteers into dozens and dozens of American jails and prisons, to help prisoners send Mother's Day cards to their mothers. And this was very popular, and hundreds of 1000s of prisoners joyfully participated and sent them mother's Mother's Day card, which turned out to have very good consequences in the recidivism rate. And in terms of going straight, it just had a good result, somehow being reconnected with their moms had a measurably good effect. Anyway, he thought that was terrific. And so in Father's Day rolled around, the late Chuck Colson decide, let's do this again for Father's Day, got everyone lined up, volunteers, donated cards, postage, everything ready, went into the prisons and discovered and of course, you know, the answer already, that virtually nobody in prison knew who their fathers were, or at the very least knew how to contact them, or knew how to connect them. Some didn't know who their fathers were, and most certainly were unable to connect them. The Father's Day card mission turned out to be a disaster. Nobody participated. They couldn't. And and that was the end of that. So why is it then what's going on here?
Daniel Lapin 12:06
Why is the connection with mom stronger than the connection with father? Well, you might say it's biological. And sure enough, is there's a reality to that isn't that because in the final analysis, you know, there's no doubt about who the mother of a child is. When it comes to who the father of a child is. We basically, you know, unless we're going to go DNA testing, we basically must depend on the, on the veracity of the mother, and the integrity of the mother. Because what she says, I mean, she's really the only one who knows for sure who the child and sometimes, sometimes she doesn't, tragically, but the father can say, you know, I'm the father, but you don't know this. So that's one explanation, that there's this deeper connection between mother and child and father and child. That's one aspect of it. But there's actually a lot more to it than that. You see, the relationship with our mothers is essentially biological, as I said, right? The relationship with our mothers is exactly the same as the relationship that a cat has with its mother and a cow has with its mother, and a camel has with his mother and a kangaroo has with its mother, exactly the same. Right? The mother gave birth to the baby. That's it's as simple as that.
Daniel Lapin 13:29
The connection with the father is quite different because animals pretty much have no connection with their fathers. And I remember when I've told you the story of the Lapin family llama, beautiful llama, his name was Llucky spelt with two L's of course, and lucky the llama. After a long time of being part of the lab and family. We took him home back to the ranch from which we'd gotten him. And the reason was that we discovered that it's cruel to keep only one llama, they're very much herd creatures. They need the connection with other llamas, I don't fully understand it. But I was certainly shown and taught that and we saw to their own eyes. Our llama was so miserable. He sometimes used to lie on the grass in front of a full sort of French door glass, a glass door, and he would just lie there looking at his reflection in the glass in the glass door. And whether he thought it was another llama I think he did because he was making noises to it. And was just pitiful. And eventually, our children joined with Susan Lapin and myself and we sat down and we said it's as much as we love the llama, we love having him in the family and he really was the most delightful member of the family. I shouldn't really say member of the family. But you know what I mean, it was a family pet. And we decided to take him back. And we had made arrangements with the the ranch owners, friends of ours that he was going to be coming back to the ranch. And they said, Oh, that'd be very interesting because his mother is in the herd, that we're going to release him to that herd. And it'll be interesting to see. Well, I do not know what naturalists and biologists and, and zoologists will say to this. I just don't I can only tell you what we all witnessed and saw with our own eyes. And that is that we pulled up Lucky leapt out of our big van and ran into the meta stopped, looked around, and then made a there must have been about, I don't know, 15 Llamas in the field, he made a beeline for his mother. I know that. It's all I can tell you. And it's been a long time since he last saw her. So I don't know, I don't understand. He made a beeline for his mother. And because this llama had a bit of a registry he had. He had, it was sort of known who his mother and father was and who is who his mother's mother was in his father's mother and father, this ranch kept records because these were high-grade thoroughbred llamas, if you like and, and so we asked, you know, is his father here by any chance. And the ranch owner said Yeah, come on out. And we walked through the herd and they were all very friendly and tolerant of us. And we walked up to one and these lot price llamas all had collars around their necks and the college had little labels on it. And the ranch owner said hear this. And he gave the name I don't remember the name of the animal. But he says this is your llama's sire - father. And we tried to sort of walk a lackey over to see if he would sort of recognize anything in his dad but wasn't interested didn't want to know, all he wanted to do was hang out with his mom. And it just you and I use the opportunity to help our children see this point that the connection between mother and child or child and mother is basic, biological, physical.
Daniel Lapin 17:26
The relationship between a person and their father. Now that is something else entirely. And I'm going to define it as more spiritual. Yes, obviously, the father provided some birth material and DNA in the form of sperm, clearly, but nonetheless, it is a different relationship. And you can see the difference, right, somehow being held in the mother's body for a lengthy period of time, and makes a difference for animals and for people. Clearly. The father's contribution is momentary and passing. And that's the end of it for animals. And for people that have become this is the painful part for people who have become disconnected from a Judeo-Christian bible based tradition from people who've been disconnected from a way of living that was first introduced to the world 3000 years ago with the arrival of the Five Books of Moses, that idea that the father stays around, and that the relationship with the father is very, very close and remains close. And it's very important that derived from that book. Now you might say, you know this Rabbi Lapin is constantly trying to tie things back to the Bible constantly trying to look
Daniel Lapin 18:58
you know, that's like trying to say, you know, this Rabbi Lapin is constantly tying the economic welfare of a country to the price of energy to the cost of its energy. Yes, I do try and tie there because it's right. It's a reality. Energy is so rooted in the core of the economy, that when a government does things to allow the price of energy to rise, through inflation through taxes, through improvident foreign policies. The result is it hits hard into the bank accounts of every single member of that society. And so I'm not trying to make a connection that doesn't exist, it's a reality. And similarly, you can see that the prime correlation of, of people who do have a strong connection with fathers, and people who don't the prime correlation is religious connection. Now, this is true for Judeo-Christian religious connection. And it's also true for Islamic religious connection. The role of a father comes from religion. And that's why there is this connection, our Father in heaven. Now, if you're very woke, you'll probably say, our mother and father in heaven, both of them. Or if you're even more work, you might say, our mother in heaven. But there's a very good reason why the tradition is our Father in heaven. And this is a connection with our father on Earth. As a matter of fact, it is quite rare to find people developing a comfortable relationship with God. If they never, ever had a relationship with their father, it happens, but it's not easy. So I'm trying to help you see, or at least make the case for your serious consideration. That the connection with Father is spiritual.
Daniel Lapin 21:24
And this is one of the reasons that in early European days, going back even before medieval times, the way that aristocracy identified itself as knowing who their fathers were, and that's why Baron von Richthofen remember the Red Baron the the German air force as the Red Baron from World War One, or very least from your peanuts comics. The red band's name was Baron I think Manfred von Richthofen and what's the von Richthofen, the German word von and means from, from leftover meaning from his father, Richthofen. And that word is is derived from the original ancient Hebrew word, the Lord's language, the Hebrew word for a son, or son of, we say the two letters BN now in Hebrew, B and V, right, B for Bravo, V for Victor are the same letter. So Ben or van Obon are born of Ben, or van, or it doesn't matter whether you have a B or a V in front of it. And so Manfred von Richthofen means Manfred son of Richthofen. And that's exactly how it came to be used in Germany, on Austria and also many other European countries in their own languages. Because it was considered to be a low-class thing not to know who your father was. And as a matter of fact, illegitimacy was a stage further even right where you don't have a father. So you're an illegitimate child, they use the word illegitimate because an illegitimate child could not claim inheritance rights from a deceased father. Right. And here, I must admit, I sympathize somewhat with the President of the United States at the present time. His name is, is Biden. And did it look like I couldn't remember his name? Well, he is eminently forgettable other than for the damage that has been reaped and inflicted on America. But at any rate, so he's got a son. And this son has an illegitimate child, he had a short relationship with a well with a woman, and the result was this little girl whom he didn't want to recognize. And the press has been criticizing Joe Biden extensively, because when he lists the number of grandchildren, he has he leaves out this child. And here I must say, I somewhat agree with him, because there is a difference between a legitimate child and an illegitimate child. Now I know, right? I am not oblivious to the fact that the term illegitimate has been gotten rid of, and it's not used at all. I do get that. And I do understand that but nonetheless, the word is here. has meaning and it does have value, it really does mean something because being connected to your father conveys a sense of legitimacy. And it's even more than that a sense of bearing a sense of dignity, a sense of aristocracy, if you like. And so this is, is perfectly natural and perfectly normal. And that is why you'll find that in. In America, for instance, it's not uncommon for families that view themselves as patrician or aristocratic or elite, they'll sometimes retain the names. And so
Daniel Lapin 25:38
you know, son will be, you know, John Proctor the third because they want to retain the family name. In other words, we know our line of descent. And that's the reason also that the name takes the father's line. Now, I know that there are some people who take the mother and the father. So what happens is John Smith, marries Jennifer Jones, and in a frenzy of egalitarianism, they decide to call themselves the Smith Joneses, John and Jennifer Smith Jones, and then when they have a kid, Jackie, and see, see what I did there didn't tell you if it was a boy or a girl, they have a kid called Jackie. And Jackie now becomes Jackie Smith Jones. I'm not going to worry about what happens when Jackie gets married. But then I have another son Vivian and Vivian is now Vivian Smith Jones. Okay, they're defeating the whole purpose. They're being very silly. They're not being serious. They're being silly. Because the whole point, the whole idea is that there is value in being linked to the Father. We never worry about being linked to mom, because that's automatic. That'll always happen. Right?
Daniel Lapin 27:00
Even in prison, and Chuck Colson told me about this. The most popular tattoo was mom, something, something connecting the guy to his mother is a very, very common tattoo. I asked him, How many tattoos? Have you seen connecting the guy to his father? And he burst out laughing? And he said, well, there may be some but I've never seen any. And I don't know about you all. But you know, I when I miss it when I just recently met somebody with a very imprint. Oh, well, I remember it was he had tattoos on both arms. And his shirt sleeves were not all the way down. So I saw and then I asked him to show them to me and I was the the background a little bit and what they were. And, and I always do, but I'm always on the lookout. And I always ask you, do you have a tattoo honoring your mom? Do you have a tattoo honoring your dad? And it sometimes leads to interesting conversation? Because quite often people Yeah, on my chest, I have one room, my mother, father, no, not so much not common at all. That's the whole point. The connection to Dad is spiritual and anything spiritual has to be worked out. It's not natural stomp, biological, right, a connection with God, that spiritual connection with Mom You don't have to work at it's like you feel it. It's right there.
Daniel Lapin 28:20
But not everybody automatically ends up feeling a connection to God. For certain people. For most people, it happens at a certain time. And many of us can even identify a date, when we felt that we had now established a relationship with God. So that's what makes all the difference. And one reason that fathers are so very important, of course, is that there are many more religious restrictions. And many more religious rituals that apply to men then apply to women. For instance, a men have to overcome their nature to a far greater extent than women do. There is a reason that the majority of crime is committed by men, violent crime, murders and homicides, mostly committed by men, because it's more in the nature of men to be aggressive and violent. And so when the Bible came along, a little over 3000 years ago, and introduces this concept, that violence, though, obviously necessary at certain times for self-defense and for national defense, is not the preferred way for ordinary citizens to resolve the perfectly natural disputes that will always arise when normal human beings instead of angels are living together. and that's why in order to function and in order to live as a society, we do need a system of laws and a system of fair application of those laws - that would be nice to see again. And so, fathers are the ones who have to if you like buckle under the, the yoke of God if I can use a theological term. Men more than women are the ones who have to submit to divine authority.
Daniel Lapin 30:30
In the area of male-female relations, it is said with some degree of justification, like generalities, this one has an element of truth to it enough that you will recognize the the truth aspect, it is said that women seek one man to fill their many needs, while men seek many women to fill their one need. Okay, so you know, you get you get the idea. So when we have the, if you like, the biblically imposed model of monogamy, a man marries a woman, and that's it, they're committed to one another for life, you know, short of calamities. And that idea, again, would intuitively make most women say yeah, yeah, that's right. Yeah, that makes sense. Let's do that. And it would make most men say her what come again, and I sometimes sort of lightheartedly think about this in terms of the sort of speculating who came up with the idea of marriage first. In other words, if you reject the idea of a biblical revelation that introduces this shocking new idea to the world, you might say, Well, okay, you know, what, probably more a woman than a man wouldn't you say it would be a woman who came to a guy and said, you know, this is like stone age, Agatha saying to Stone Age, Fred, I got this great idea. You forego all other women, and you are only with me. And if and when we have babies, you look after us and take care of us and feed us and protect us. And then I say at that point, Fred is disappearing in a cloud of dust over the horizon. And putt Agatha is saying, Well, I was just trying to explain to him my great idea of marriage. Yeah, that's right. It is more comfortable and natural for women than it is for men. It's true. It's one of the reasons that so many women and I'm sure you listening, there are people among you as well, who, who know that there are times when a man and a woman are dating, and they according and they see one another, the woman is ready, she wants to get married long before the guy does. And she doesn't have to do it. She doesn't want to frighten him away. But the reason is, because the biblical concept of marriage fits into the female being the female psyche. But it doesn't fit the man. For a man, marriage seems to be closing of doors, it seems to be eliminating options, it seems to be restricting my life. And so again, it is a man who has to bow his head and submit more than a woman. And so you now you see, imagine the effect on a child, a child grows up and he sees and as a child gets particularly a boy, and particularly when it gets to the, to the age of 1314 1516. And the sap of young manhood is rising in his being. And he sees and he discovers, you know, gosh, my dad is, I realize now my dad works for us, my dad is is loyal and faithful to our mom. And that has a profound, immeasurably monumental impact on a young male growing up. And so a young male growing up without a father never sees a man submitting to abstract ideals and values of goodness, he never seen such a thing. He only sees if he sees men at all. He sees men doing exactly what they feel like doing. Men doing exactly what they feel like doing destroys society. It's the end of everything. Society only functions when men get as the sociologists like to say men get a culture rated, right? Very nice. That's true, very good. But you see, it's not that simple.
Daniel Lapin 34:47
When boys grow up with a father, they see a man who is willing to listen to God and do things that are against his desires and dreams. refrain from doing things that are in accordance with his desires. So the son says, I get it, that's what being a man is, I've got to grow up like that as well. And so a married man and woman raising their children together, are gonna have a different quality of children that they raise. And what I've been describing applies in a slightly different way to girls they're raising as well. Bottom line is that a married man and woman who are raising their children, and raising them properly, as most likely they are, and in most cases, in many cases, I look there exceptions I get it. But the quality of child raised is significantly higher, statistically speaking, than the quality of children raised by a single mom, it just it has to be that way. And Chuck Carlson's experiment in the prisons of the United States prove that, for the most part, boys raised with a mother and a father married to each other, do not end up in prison. How much clearer do you need it? Because the overwhelming majority of guys in prison don't know their fathers. obvious this is I'm just giving you the background mechanism, how it works. That's kind of important, don't you think?
Daniel Lapin 36:21
The connection to Father is spiritual, that means it's taught, and who is the most important person to teach your child his or her relationship to his or her father? Mom, of course, nobody can be more effective than the mother at cementing the relationship between a child and its father. And I've often said that the fact that I'm able to joke and say, We don't celebrate Mother's Day or Father's Day in the lab in a household, because every day is Mother's Day and Father's Day. This is a big blessing. Why am I blessed with a closer relationship with our children? Only because of Susan Lapin. Right, I mean, I can do the best I can. And I certainly tried to do the best that I can. And I know I fell short in many areas, but the fact that I have a great relationship, which I'm so grateful, is because of my wife, she made that happen. And, and that's really crucial. Who teaches young women today, that part of their job is to make sure that their children have a connection to their husband, who teaches them that I don't know. I just don't know if that helps, I know doesn't happen in GICs, in government indoctrination camps, you know, children serve out 12 years in those camps. And they come out with no knowledge and no understanding of money, and no knowledge and no understanding of male-female relationships. Oh, they know the biology, alright, you don't have to worry about that. They know 27 different ways of intimate relations of many different kinds and styles that they know. But to really understand the depth of the relationship, what a male-female relationship is, how it works, no. And, you know, when when something is done consistently, it's usually not a coincidence. And because this is so consistent throughout America, no education on male-female relationships, in K through 12. No education on on financial and monetary matters, I can only assume that it is by design and intent. What could possibly be the reason for the design in the intent, making people dependent people who have no relationship, no understanding of male-female relationships are unlikely to be able to form lasting marriages and families, which means they're far more likely to need social services and, and relief services and welfare services, which is precisely what a government headed in the wrong direction once they want a populace that will vote them consistently and reliably in power, because they are dependent. And this is one of the reasons that one of the strongest support demographics for the Democratic Party are single mothers. I mean, it should all make sense, right? Married women, women who have husbands and children do not support the Democratic Party. Everybody knows that the Democratic party knows that. They don't even waste time trying to get those people. And it was it bothered people in 2016 why did so many women support Donald Trump? Don't they know what an evil horrible misogynistic person? Yeah, these are all married women with children and they knew that Donald Trump was pro family, and was going to make sure that the issues important to them would be on the forefront of his concerns. And that's really how it is. And the attempt on the part of government to try and get people to associate with Marxist categories, is defeated only by family. And that is why the majority of women who are married with children, their interests align much more with their husbands - a man, then their interests align with other women. And if you think about that's pretty obvious, right? How hard is that to understand?
Daniel Lapin 40:45
Now, let's try and tie it together with what we've been looking at in terms of estrangement, where about a quarter of Americans are disconnected, isolated, have estranged themselves from their parents. So look, it's very interesting. For one thing, the COVID epidemic, pandemic scam-demic, the COVID period, also contributed to this because very often woke, younger people were dedicated to wearing masks and isolating and quarantining, wears very often, their parents, the grandparents of their kids, were a little bit older, a little bit more experienced in life and a lot more skeptical of government restrictions. And many young people use that period to cut off relationships with their parents. And we're only doing it to save you we don't want our children to infect you with the virus of COVID. But what they were really saying is we don't want you to infect our children with a virus of your thinking. And this became a very widespread movement in America, that COVID served as the excuse to separate grandparents from their grandchildren. So that was definitely one thing. And another thing is that you, you're gonna see something really important here, and I want to try and explain it as reliably and as effectively as I possibly can. And that is that it is very important in living a successful life, and in making your family grow effectively. And in making your finances grow new, making your friendships nurtured and successful in making your fitness and your faith. It's very, very important to have a relationship in time that is realistic. The last thing you want to do is be an orphan of time, an orphan of time means you only have a relationship with the present. And yet that is the sad and baleful legacy of secularism very often. Because past and future are kind of spiritual. You can't see the past in front of you, you can see symbols of the past called statues and monuments. But those are so easy to tear down and destroy. You can't see the future you have to imagine that you have to think about it you using a spiritual ability to see the future you using a spiritual ability to see the past, but the present is all here. And it's fun. I can indulge my appetites in the here and now. I can have whatever I want. I can have whoever I want because it's all in the here and now. The late rock singing star Meatball [Meatloaf], you might remember he did a song I think is one of the longest songs in pop history called Paradise by the dashboard light. And I think it
Daniel Lapin 44:43
it must have been about seven minutes or something. At any rate. That was a really interesting song. Because it's the song of a young man living in the present and he's in a car park knocked over a lake with his girlfriend. They're both 16 or 17 years, I think the song says they're nearly 17. And he's pushing and pushing and pushing. And she finally says, stop, stop. We're not going further until you tell me if you'll love me forever. Love me for the rest of your life and make me your wife. That's what she's insisting on. And he is torn between his hormones, and a shred of decency that still lingers in his being. But finally, he says, Okay, fine, I promise, I promise, I promise. And there's a really, I think, a clever insertion into the song of the narration of a baseball game. And again, anybody who remembers his youth, or who you will probably remember the terms first base, and second base, and third base, and so on, in terms of male-female relationships. I won't say any more on the show for the moment, but you get the idea. And they sort of have that in the middle of the song, which tells you where they're at. And, then finally Meat[loaf] sings, they go for it. And then the song moves ahead a number of years. And he says, Look, I kept my word, I wasn't gonna break my promise. And we Yes, we got married, and I hate the side of her. And she echoes then she says, she hates the side of him. And he's just waiting basically, for the end of time, so he doesn't have to be with her anymore. But that idea that there is a future is so rare, particularly in the pop world. And I think part of the reason it became such a classic Paradise by the dashboard light is because it gave a hint of the future. Whereas normally, pop music eliminates the future, it stops you having to think about the future. That's part of its appeal.
Daniel Lapin 45:45
And, so it is that most entertainment that people see on their screens. Most most most stuff that people watch, on streaming services, it's stuff that stops you thinking about the future stops you thinking about the past, for the most part, the past is less problematic and still problematic. But the future is what really is difficult to think about. And yet, for successful living, whether it's financial or family-wise, I mean, the one thing you want to make sure that a teenage boy or girl begin to get a sense of an understanding of is the future. Because a clearer, strong, understanding the future will help to restrain them from terrible mistakes, and help to encourage them moving forward in the right direction. And again, any parent of a teenager, first of all, if you're sending your teenager to a gimmick, so then you know, I'm sorry, but the odds are really stacked up against you. But if you're homeschooling or you're sending them to a good private school, or for that matter, to be perfectly honest, if you're not seeing him school at all, and just let them give them access to books and make sure they can read all of that is superior to what is going on in GICs - government indoctrination camps, previously known as public schools. Well, it's so it's, it's, it's, it's the one thing you'd want to get across to them, isn't it? Hey, past and future really matter, you got to understand, even though we have to use spiritual powers to understand the future, because you can't see it, you got to think about it, you got to imagine it. And the past, you've also got to use spiritual powers.
Daniel Lapin 48:52
I want to tell you about the values of this family, I want to tell you where Mommy came from. And I want to tell you where daddy came from, want to tell you about your grandparents, you may never have met them maybe but here's who they were, here are the things the way they live their life. And you are part of this chain of transmission. Look at the name you carry. You carry your father's name. So we're teaching past and we're teaching future as well. This is absolutely vital, so vital, in fact, that in the Lord's language in Hebrew, the main Hebrew name for God Almighty, is made up of the Hebrew words for past, present and future. That's one of the reasons that we say God is timeless, right? Past President all wrapped up. And so part of becoming godly is becoming someone for whom the past and the future are just as important as the present. That's It's so important to understand past and future are as important as the present. The problem with secularism is that it is very difficult to inculcate a sense of past and future in a secular person. You might say, well, we'll teach them history. Yeah. But the trouble is that history taught under secular auspices is not only value-free, but it's often value-distorted.
Daniel Lapin 50:32
And future is not taught at all, because that's considered to be imposing a belief system that's right you see. You can't possibly teach the future, if you don't first establish the moral framework in which you are looking at the future. Just think about that for a few minutes. I'll say it again, if you don't mind. You can't possibly think about the future, till you have first of all decided, walk through the lens of what moral framework, will you think of the future? See, I think you'll you'll see how important that becomes. Now, what are the things that all tyrannical regimes always do is they try and cut off relations between people and their parents and their past. Because once you have isolated people from their past, you can then design their future. And this is basic to revolutionary theology. And whatever revolution whether you're looking at America 2023, or whether you're looking at previous regimes, but the attempt always focus and you always know a government is up to no good when it tries to isolate people from their past. And there are a number of ways of doing this. One of the ways and you may think to yourself, This is a far fetched, but it isn't. And that is impose a as close as you can get to 100% inheritance tax. Now, nevermind the morality of taxing monies that have already had taxes paid on them. In other words, the right you know, a person earns $1,000 a month, for 12 months, a year. And for 20 years, you know, at the end of that period, he's got a lot of money. And it's all had taxes paid on it. And now he dies. And instead of his children getting it, the government takes a whole slice of it as an inheritance tax. So it's double taxing money. But that's not the point. The point isn't just money gathering. The reason governments do this is to help destroy the relationship between parents and children. That's right. Family and finance are strongly connected. Do you know that marriages in which husband and wife share finances where they use a joint banking account are healthier and stronger than families that don't. Money is really, really important. Marriages in which the father makes the money and the mother makes the home are statistically far happier, and far more durable than families that work differently. I understand the realities of life today, believe me, I totally get it. But that doesn't stop me from wanting to tell you the truth. And so as hard as it is to do today, be aware that families in which father works outside the house and brings home the money and mom builds a home and provides a haven of security in which her husband can be a man. Happier marriages, more successful marriages, more durable marriages, marriages in which the finances or joint do much better than marriages in which they don't. Finance and family all connected, please remember that. And that same truth applies when it comes to parents and children. The fact that a parent supplies the financial needs of a child by working is hugely important. You have a totally different family structure, much less successful, much less lasting. When the family is provided for by the Government. Families on the dole do not endure.
Daniel Lapin 54:48
That's if I get onto the roll in the first place, generally speaking, they don't but even when they do, children who know they're being fed by the government As opposed to being fed by their parents, very big difference in the relationship between parents and children. Some people wanted to merge bunny, you know, who wants to introduce the vulgarity of money to the beauty of a parent-child relationship, you missing the point, it's a very important part of it. It's very, very valuable, that the father or the mother, give money to the children, usually in return for jobs done or chores done, or whatever it is, you have a wise system of dispersing money, you don't just give money. But the fact that money comes from parent to child, hugely important, and the fact that the end of parents lives there is an uninterrupted, unimpeded flow of assets from late parents to child, hugely important. And in biblical terms, it's it's actually known, because in biblical terms, it's actually laid out exactly how it goes from parent to child. So it's not as if the child lives his life saying, or her like, Hey, I wonder if, if I'm going to be included in the world? No, you know, you will be this is part of how the relationship works. It's part of how human beings are incentivized in the godly system to work hard, because I'm going to work very, very differently. If I know that whatever's left over at the end of my time goes to my children, then if I think that whatever's left over at the end of my time goes to the government, and to every all other children. Now, it's different, and much more incentivized to work hard in the first case, then in the second. And these are, you know, what can I tell you, these are really, really crucial things that we all do need to understand very, very well. And we need to understand them at the right stage of life, if you don't mind. So estrangement from parents is yet another way of cutting ties with the past. And when you've cut your ties with the past, it becomes harder to see the future not easier. And that's why one of the reasons that men with wives and children do better financially. And I've covered the stats on this in the past, men with wives and children do much better than single men, business-wise, for the most part is because their children give them a constant glimpse into the future. And seeing the future is vitally important in business, because you do have to foresee trends. To be successful in business, clearly, you have to see, or at least hear the soft footsteps of approaching events, and at the very least, you have to be able to understand. And so the whole world of therapists, by the way, therapists, today drive people apart. Am I generalizing? Yes, because it's not true for all therapists is only true for 96 out of 100 therapists, and they do drive people apart. Therapists spend a lot of their time telling their clients how the your parents ruined your life. That's a big topic in therapy. And by the way, if, for one reason or another, you are in therapy, and I discourage it strongly. But if you are, then the minute the therapist starts talking about how your parents ruined your life, please get up and walk out. You are having your time and your money wasted. And you're not only not being helped, but you're actually being harmed. Because you need a relationship with your parents. The last thing you want to happen is for your parents to leave this world without you connected with them. It's not for their purposes, it's nice for them to but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm saying that for you to be an orphan in time for you, to let your parents leave. With you in a state of estrangement, you'll never recover from. I'm sorry, all the therapy in the world won't fix that. So please be aware if you are among those estranged. Go ahead and repair it, go ahead. And while there's time, go ahead and fix that. Not for their sake for yours. Because we need a connection with the past. And I'm afraid your parents are your primary connection with the past. I can't think of a better way to do it. So you want to leapfrog them leapfrog them and go to your grandparents finally, if you can do that, but you do need that connection to the boss not just through your mother, but through your father as well.
Daniel Lapin 59:36
So look, I know this has been a heavy show today. It's a lot of hard information, but I know that happy warriors can handle it. Make sure you subscribe. I'd appreciate that. And make sure you become a happy warrior. And visit the website Rabbi Daniel lapin.com. And if you are still among that tiny minority of people who do not own A copy of the Bible. Make sure you get yourself a copy of Rabbi Daniel Lapin's recommended Bible which you will find in the store on Rabbi Daniel lapin.com website. Until we get together next time I hope that you have a blessed and positive week. Week in which you move only onwards and upwards. In your family and in your finances, in your faith in your friendship and in your fitness. I'm Rabbi Daniel Lapin. God bless.
