TRANSCRIPT
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The Rabbi Daniel Lapin Podcast
Episode: Want To Just Be Yourself? OK, Pay The Price!
Date: 05/09/25 Length: 00:49:21
Daniel Lapin 0:00
Greetings, Happy Warriors and welcome to the Rabbi Daniel Lapin show where, as usual, I your rabbi reveals how the world really works, and seldom does one fine better example of how the world really works than when we're talking about money and marriage and so let me tell you about an experience that I had a few years back when a guy somebody who was being advised and counseled by me. Came to me to tell me that they're formally engaged, and he wants to talk about planning the wedding. Was his rabbi, and so he wanted me to officiate at his marriage ceremony. And so we were talking about different aspects of the marriage ceremony, and I'd congratulated him on his engagement, and at one point in just casual conversation, he dropped the following bombshell. He said to me, Oh, I can't wait to be married so I can get back to just being myself. Well Happy Warriors. When I heard that, I realized that I was in for a slightly longer meeting than I had anticipated. So what did I say to him? I said to him, tell me, what does that mean? What is the difference between the you that I know and the you that is really yourself, because I presume that your fiance and I both pretty much know you as we know you, and so when you want to get back to being yourself, like, What does that really mean? And he didn't realize on what treacherous quicksand he was about to step. And so he started telling me of all the things he was looking forward to being able to get back to being himself. And it included speech. And he explained. He said, You know, when I'm around you and when I'm around my fiance, all the time we were dating, you know, I didn't do any cursing, I didn't do any speaking with vulgarities. You know, I sort of watched the way I speak. And he said, and I don't mind telling you that it was quite stressful. That's how it's been very stressful. I can't wait to get back to just being myself and what else. Well, clothing, clothing. You know, he likes dressing he likes his torn pants and his comfortable t shirt. But obviously, and I said to you know, I've never seen you dress that way? He says, Yeah, obviously, you know, around the synagogue, I don't dress that way. And needless to say, while I'm dating, and, you know, I was seeing my girlfriend, and now she's become my fiance, you know, I wanted to have a good impression of me, so I don't do that either. What else? hygiene, I don't bodily matters. Yeah, I don't think I need to go there. Suffice to say that he again stressed. It's very stressful. I just want to be able to be myself as I feel, when I feel, and anything else. Punctuality. Oh, yes, that's right. Punctuality said, you know, I'm a easygoing guy, you know what? If somebody's 10 minutes late, I don't care, and I don't want them to make a fuss if I'm 10 minutes late. But obviously, while I was dating and with my girlfriend and now my fiance, you know, obviously making a good impression means being punctual, that's what I'm doing. I asked how he behaves with respect to work. And he said, Well, works, you know, different. I expect to not be able to relax and be myself at work. I expect so at work. You dress a certain way, and he's punctual, and he behaves hygienically, and he dresses appropriately, and he speaks appropriately. And when he's with his fiance, and apparently when he's with his rabbi, but he can't wait to getting back to being himself. And so I then proceeded to assure him that if he thought that he could revert back to these repulsive behaviors, and after the wedding was taken care of. He was very mistaken. He was very mistaken. I said to him, I said, look, it's not you really think that as soon as the wedding concludes that you can revert back to, to these, to the way you think you really are. And he said, No, no, no, I know there's a honeymoon period, right? But like, when would you say, with your experience, you know you've married many couple, when do you think I can anticipate going back to being me? I can't wait to get my identity back. That's what he said. And well, I answered him, no question about it. I answered him, but before I did i Uh, let me just tell you that we have a special opportunity for people who want to become part of our Happy Warrior community, and there are a lot of reasons why you might want to do that. We certainly appreciate it enormously when you become part of our community, and we express our appreciation in terms of, first of all, direct person to person communication. We read your emails, we often respond to your emails, all of which, all this communication is strictly for community members, and it takes place on a special website called the Happy Warriors website. It said, We Happy warriors.com you can take a look at it, www.wehappywarriors.com and that's where we sort of hang out. And also on that website right there. We also have a special bonus podcast every week, specifically for members of the happy warrior community. People who are part of the community get to hear things on the podcast that I might not be speaking about in public, and so I depend upon your discretion, you members of the Happy Warrior community, I know that you will protect me and not share far and wide things that are open to misinterpretation. That I may well say to you, because I know full well that you will not misinterpret it and that you will understand it correctly. So please be aware that there's a special membership promotion right now for Happy Warriors, basic annual membership, so you can check that out. And also for your own membership, and also, if you want to gift somebody a membership, you go ahead and use the promotion code, save 10, S, A, V, E, and then the number one, zero, save 10. So drops $10 that price opportunity to welcome you enjoy your participation in the happy warrior community. You can also talk to each other. By the way, there's very lively communication between Happy Warrior members with one another, which is great fun to read. We really enjoy that because we see insights that we did not necessarily understand or get clearly until we got it from one of you. So to whatever extent you learn from us, we are grateful to be able to play that role. But just want you to know we learn a great deal from you as well. And so please do think of becoming part of the happy warrior community. And also, you know, you've you've heard me talk constantly about the Bible, and I'm not going to take time off, because we've got a lot of stuff to get through today. But the if you've ever wondered to yourself, you know, like, why is it that the people of Israel, and I don't just mean people who live in the geographic country called Israel, on the shores of the Mediterranean. But I mean historically, the people, the Hebrews, the Jews, the people of Israel, like what? What do they have going for themselves? And it's quite noticeable politically, for instance, in the United States, that the more committed to the Bible in serious terms, people who study and regard the Bible as a blindingly insightful and brilliantly incandescent roadmap to reality well during the insanity of COVID which Jews bought in to the line that masks are fantastically helpful, and if you double mask yourself and triple mask yourself, it's even more helpful. You
Daniel Lapin 10:33
And the people who believed that
Daniel Lapin 10:34
if you received the vaccine jab and then you Got the vaccine booster jab, and the booster jab that this was going to stop you getting COVID, and then, well, at the very least, it'll stop you communicating COVID. It's the people among Jews, the people who bought into that stuff were, for the most part, Jews who did not tend to be Bible centric, and so again, when it came to the political divisions in the country regarding President Trump, almost without exception, Orthodox Jews, which is just another way of saying, Jews who take the Bible very Seriously are were and remain supportive of President Trump, and the more distant you were as a Jew from the Bible, the more likely you were to be a committed Democrat. And please understand, I'm not talking about respecting the Bible or revering the Bible. I'm talking about taking it seriously. So, you know, the Bible says in the fourth commandment that six days you must work and the seventh one is a different day. It's a day of rest. So how the Shabbat is handled gives you a very good idea of how seriously somebody takes the Bible. Anyways, what I'm explaining is that if you are interested in getting a deeper insight into why the Bible means so much more to people who understand Hebrew than to people who are reading it in translation, go ahead and enjoy a resource that we prepared called Scrolling through Scripture. It's really one of the best things I've ever done. You'll find it at the website, Rabbi Daniel lapin.com Okay, Rabbi Daniel lapin.com and just search for Scrolling through Scripture. You can even hear part of it without even buying it. You can just get the hang of it, but I think you will enjoy the show because it gives you the insights that are available to people who can read and understand Hebrew. Now I realize you don't, but that's fine. The reason that scrolling through Scripture is so dear to my heart is because after extensive work and preparation, literally, many years, literally, it did take many years to figure out exactly how to convey the secrets of ancient Jewish wisdom that emerge from the Hebrew text of the Bible. It's crucially important, and you will be able to understand as we go through the first 34 verses of Genesis. So regardless of what your faith is, regardless of where you fit in a religious scale, or nowhere at all, I think everybody will get something of real benefit as they explore the foundation of all of Scripture, the first 34 verses, the depiction of creation, which is ultimately when you think about it, it is the interface between God and the physical world, because that's where God brings it into being. And it's in those 34 verses that the foundation for so much else is laid. So do give that a shot. And again, love to hear from you. If you manage to work your way through scrolling through Scripture that would be wonderful. So back to the member of my congregation who wanted to know when he could go back to being himself. And when I said, Listen, if you think you can go back to your old hygiene habits and your old clothing customs, and you the way you used to speak. And if you think you can do that right after the meeting, after the wedding, you are very much mistaken. He said, No, no, no, no, I I know there's a honeymoon period, right? But once that's like, What are you talking about here? When can I go back to being me? And he asked me that very plaintively, when can I go back to being me? And he meant that it was a good thing. He was, you know, he was gonna stop putting on an act. He was gonna stop acting. He was gonna be himself. And surely there would be something that would be welcome to his friends and to his wife and to maybe even to his rabbi. So I responded to him, and I said to him, you want to know when you can go back to being just you? And he was sort of relieved that I finally understood what he was asking. He said, Yeah, exactly. And I said, Well, since you're asking me, I'll tell you the true answer. The answer is never that you is history, that you is dead, that you is buried forever. You are a new person. And very few things have the capacity to put a man onto the road of real growth. Very few things more than marriage. And so I realized that this was something of use, I think, to many of us, to understand that there is not actually a you, or there's not actually a me. We're all in constant flux all the time. Every here's the key thing, every experience you go through leaves its mark. Every action you take changes you for better or for worse. That's the key thing to understand. You are impacted by every single thing that you do, if you I mean even something that would appear to be as insignificant as allowing your eyes to look at or read or see things that are not good for you. It's not as if when you stop that it's over, it's left a mark which takes an enormous amount of effort to erase now, in theological terms, this is called tissue var it's called repent, all kinds of but that's not what I'm speaking about here, because this is real life stuff. This is understanding that we think our personalities, our makeup, our instinctive ways of doing things, the automatic ways we respond to certain stimuli. All of those things are the result of our accumulated behaviors and actions and experience. Every experience you go through leaves its mark. Every action you take changes you for better or for worse. So for instance, if you overcome a bad habit, and there's a part of you pulling and wanting to indulge in the bad habit, but you don't do it, you actually have changed you something. And the proof of is very simple proof. The proof is that the next time you feel an urge to do the same thing, whether it's to break a diet or whatever it is, or if it's an alcohol addiction, whatever it is, but anytime you win a small victory over yourself and you deprive yourself of that particular indulgence, and you say, No, I'm not going to do that, it actually leaves You stronger to deal with the next time. So obviously, that action is hugely powerful, and it actually has an impact. So that's why I say and this is really maybe one of the most important points of this podcast. There isn't really such a thing as a you or a me. There's only a you or a me at this instant, the real you only exists at this given thin slice of time, just this moment, this instant now, you are you? Who are you? But that doesn't mean you have to be or will be the same person five minutes from now, and obviously a month from now, or going back a month or going back a year. Of course, you're not the same you. So it's he's saying, I want to go back to the same me. But the truth is, this congregant of mine, friend as well, he thought he could go back. That's why he was asking me, you know, when can I stop this act. He didn't actually use those words, but that's what he meant, stop this act and going back to being the real me. And the answer is that anytime he likes, he could revert back to dressing in that way and ignoring normal hygiene and speaking in a certain way and being inconsiderate however, it wouldn't be authentic anymore. It may have been authentic six months ago or a year ago, but for the last year, he's been dating, and he's been spending time with this girl, and he's been keeping himself under control. Now, when he goes back by himself to his own apartment. It's very possible he was a slob, quite possibly. But generally speaking, now it's not only his work hours, but many of his leisure hours were spent dressing properly and exerting discipline and control over his body, and exerting discipline and control over how he spoke and how he dressed, and how he kept himself on time and punctual for for arrangements and meetings and appointments. And so if he went back now, and you know, just imagine he's yearning so much for those days, and he tries it, it wouldn't feel authentic. He'd now feel like a B grade actor playing him, because he's moved beyond that. It's the same way that, you know, we all had fun in kindergarten, most of us, and that doesn't mean that we'd actually still have fun if we went back there. There's not really such a thing as going back. All one can do is impact the future by what you do today. So that's really worth understanding and really getting the hang of that that is very, very important we do become whom we act as. And it's an act to begin with, but then it becomes the real you, because actions change us. You follow what I'm saying the first time. Let's say the first time somebody, you know, young person, gets a job in a new place, and he's about to go off to work, and a roommate or a parent or a friend, somebody say, Whoa, you can't go to work like that. You know, you're working at such and such a company that's a serious company. That's not how people dress there. Come back in, quickly, change your Congo like that. And sure enough, for the next six months, this person every Monday through Friday, this person gets up and dresses in a certain way. And it may be that on weekends, he dresses differently and back, but back to the old way. But the fact is, the fact is that he becomes a different person. And after six months of dressing in a certain way, he starts feeling differently, and he finds himself saying to himself, and so we all do this, you know, you know, that's a really childish way of dressing. You know, I'm no longer at college. I'm an adult now, and you actually don't want to go back, which is healthy exactly the way it ought to be, right? We're changed by what we do. We become different, our emotions, our psyches, our hearts, our spirituality, our spiritual reality, the matrix that runs inside of us, our operating system that changes by the experiences we go through and by the actions we take. Have you ever heard anybody say, Oh, I could never be a plumber or a welder. You know, I'm a white collar person. I could never do that. Well, I've got news for you. Not only could you, but once you've done it for a year or two, and you you've reached a level of competence and you've achieved some recognition, you'll love that work. You'll encourage others to join you in that kind of work. You'll tell people you know, what great work it is. And a lot of that is happening right now, by the way, it's kind of really interesting. The Wall Street Journal had a piece on this very recently, May when was this? Let me just see,
Daniel Lapin 23:33
May 7 leave a fantastic story, high school juniors with 70,000 a year, job offers, yeah, may the seventh, 2025, now this is really interesting. And this Wall Street Journal story speaks about a high school in Philadelphia. Is it a gig? Is it a public high school, a government indoctrination center? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. This is a Catholic high school in Philadelphia. It's called Father judge and what happens is that at father judge school, they teach welding. That's right, how wonderful that the school is teaching people not only to work with words and ideas, but also to work with things, with object and welding is very much learning a thing. Now I will tell you something else, and that is that if somebody is taking an English composition class and he's also taking a welding class, I guarantee you that that person is going to be doing better at English composition than the other student who's doing English composition and poetry, the student who's doing English composition and welding will do better at English composition as well. Do you want to know why that is? It's simple. It's because in English composition, there is very little you cannot do. Oh yes, there are rules of English grammar, but people are encouraged to be themselves and to make their own rules and this is why so many of the stupid books that make their way into the world of publication. And I don't mean you know, books that that really sell. I'm talking about the chic books, the books that are given that are hailed as breakthroughs of artistic bravery. These are all they're complete nonsense, and they're written with utter indifference for all grammatical rules, but if you're also learning welding, you now learn that you can't do whatever you feel like doing if you if you move the welding rod too quickly, you'll mess up the weld. If you don't allow the metal to melt and blend, you're not going to end up with a strong world there ways that work and their ways that don't work. Well, that's also true for human communication. You know, for instance, if you want to tell something very impactful, and a joke, by the way, is a good example of this. I'm not a big joke enthusiast, but, but there's something to be learned from that area, which is that you make the punch line as short and as brief as possible, because the longer the punch line is, the more the joke will flop. So and so you might want to set up a joke in a certain way, and you can do the setup. And that doesn't matter if that's long, particularly if it's moving towards, obviously, what is a climax. You know, there was, you'll pardon me, I'm not, I'm not very good at this, but you'll get the idea a panda bear goes into the restaurant or the bar, and he asks for a sandwich, and as soon as he finishes the sandwich, he pulls out a revolver and shoots everyone else in the restaurant. And then he walks out the bar owner runs after him, you know, and says, Hey, what do you think you did? And the Bear says, Well, I'm a panda bear. And the bar keeper said, so what? And the panda said, look it up in the dictionary. Panda, a bear that eats, shoots and leaves. I ate, I shot and I left. And I am following up the words of the you see as soon as you start explaining that, you make that punch line too long, it fails. It doesn't work. So if you want to be an effective communicator, you got to be like a welder. You have to know what works and what doesn't work. That joke only works when the when it ends with a punch line. Look it up in the dictionary, Panda, a bear that eats, shoots and leaves. Stop. That's it. But if you try and back weight the story and the punch line now turns into a punch sentence or a punch paragraph, it doesn't work. So that's what I mean when I say that a an English student who also is doing well in classes, is gonna do much better, because he's gonna innately into his soul, absorb the idea that, yes, there are rule and there are ways that things work and other ways that things don't work, and that is as true for mathematics and physics and English composition as it is for welding and metal work and carpentry and of course, what happened, you know, and I speak about 1962 As the beginning of the end 1962 where things really began to deteriorate. You know what was going on over there? And I've spoken about the emergence of the birth control pill in 62 and I've spoken about other things that were happening there, religiously and so on. But one of the things that happened then, also which I don't think I've ever mentioned, and certainly haven't tied to the general deterioration of the culture, but it was exactly then that American high schools gigs began to drop from their curriculum. Shop class used to be up till then that if you went to an American high school, I don't. I wasn't living in America at the time, so I don't know if it was, if every if it was mandatory, or if it was just available. I just don't know. But what was certainly available was you could do shop class, and some schools, you could choose metal work. You could choose cop in. Tree, you could choose auto repair, right? I had a I once visited a school where they showed me where the auto repair shop was now was being wasted. The space was nothing. But they used to have cars that sometimes got donated by local dealerships, you know, bust up old cars that weren't going to be repaired. And then they the the students could with, under the lead, under the leadership and guidance of a shop instructor, they would fix the car or learn how to do woodwork and so on and so forth. So they stopped doing this, and it's, it's really interesting, but yeah, sure enough. The by, by the early 70s, shop classes were vanished. Firstly, they switched it from shop they began calling them career and technical education. CTE, career and technical education they stopped at by the 1970s they were, they were going away. Why? Well, part of it was because of the evil plan
Daniel Lapin 31:08
to try and get everybody forced to go to college and again, you know, when you think about it, college is one of the most effective and the most horrible wealth transfer schemes in modern American history, where the elites figured out a way to get the rest of us to hand over money to the elites. And you know, who's more elite than people on the faculties of university? High salaries, high perks, unfireable. You know, security, work for life, very little work, very easy work, you know, who wouldn't want to be on the faculty of an American university, and they couldn't even behave themselves for long enough so that the current loathing of colleges and campuses and academia wouldn't, needn't have happened, but they could as much stop themselves from hating the civilization that made their comfy lives possible as they could stop breathing. And that's another story as to why it's inevitable that when you live the experience of academia and you practice the activities of academia, it impacts your mind, it impacts your personality and impacts your spirit. And yes, you do tend to become a hater of the very civilization that made your privileged life possible in the first place. That's really how it was and how it is. And so as I say, 60s, mid to late 60s. By 70s, the shop class was vanishing like all over the place. So part of it was schools were focusing very much on college. We've got to train everybody to get ready and get into college. That's going to be the important thing. But the other part of it was that schools began to be feminized, run by women and catering primarily to women. And shop class was strictly for guys, so they took it away, and they took away competitive sports, and they took away recess, little by little, in order to make the schools more appropriate for girls than for boys, and that's the reality we're facing now. We are now in the United States of America, and I don't know to what extent this process has impacted wherever you live, but if you are a member of the happy warrior community, write and tell me. I do want to know about them, but in America, at least, the schools began to be more and more feminine, and that means that they were more and more suitable for girls who are much more comfortable than boys sitting. And if you don't believe me about that, from the younger stage, go and look at seven a group of seven year old boys playing, or a group of seven year old girls playing. Seven year old boys will be running around the garden or the yard. They'll be pushing each other and tapping each other, and they're running and moving. Then go and see the girls, and you see that they're sitting in a little circle talking. It's true, and I have a lovely granddaughter, and she's about 11 or 12, and she had a summer job last summer, working in a summer camp, and she had to take care of the five year old age. It was a day camp, right? A five year old age group of boys and girls separate, okay, not together, because wise camps understand that boys and girls are different. And so I asked her, What's the difference between the boys and the girls? And she laughed. She said, Oh, it's like two completely different things, she said. I said, but explain to me what's the difference now. Forget she said. She said, if I tell the boys to wait there for five minutes like come back, when I come back, there's some of them up in a tree. Some of them are wrestling with each other. Others are chasing each other around the playground. And I said, What about girls? She said, if I tell the group of girls please wait, I'll be back in five minutes. When I'm come back, they're all sitting talking to each other. That's right. There's a difference. And schools, public schools, geeks in America, have become brooding grounds for girls, and so the education has been made more and more appropriate for girls, less and less for boys. But so what do you do with the boys? Because that means boys are going to constantly be disrupting because they don't fit into that situation. Well, no problem, you drug them. Put them on Ritalin, put them on Adderall, so they become little girls. I know that's not the intention of the drug. That's exactly what it does. And if your child is at a gig and you are determined that you don't want your child on a drug, just be aware that the more and more boys in your child's class are effectively put on drugs and teach and parents, I mean, are conditioned to believe the parent this The the teachers. Parents are susceptible to expert advice. And when the school experts, and they always gang up, by the way, it'll always be three or four people, when the parents come in, it'll be the teacher and the counselor and this and that, and all of them are say this, look, your child is really going to do well on Ritalin and that's what your child needs. That's because without that, your child will never make it to college, etc. They got great ways of terrifying people and parents very susceptible to this same as the transgender stuff, where they would tell parents, do you want to be responsible for your child's suicide? You know, that sort of stuff. And again, none of this stuff is true, but evil players are at work, and some of them aren't evil. Some of them are just gullible, and they've themselves bought into this and so you should know that every boy that gets successfully put on Ritalin in your boys class, in your son's class, makes your son's behavior look worse, because it used to be only five boys in the class were, you know, couldn't concentrate. Boys are not created to sit at a desk and behave held together for six hours a day. It's not what we're meant to do. That's not what boys I don't care whether you believe in evolutionary biology or whether you believe in the in the body and soul, these are two incompatible hypotheses, but they both do agree on this one, which is that boys need different handling than girls. And you know, don't for a moment think that you know 500 years of socialization changes boys into girls and girls into boys. It doesn't happen, and so we just really have to understand that this is, in fact, a reality, and that boys are boys, and that certain activities do make us more masculine, and other activities make us more feminine. That's why they're always traditionally, were, you know, boys were doing shop, girls might have been doing home economics or Baker baking or or embroidery and and needle work. Those are different activities, and they do have an impact on us. There was a period that they used to be they were very excited. This is going back to the 90s, I think maybe even the late 80s, they were coming up with studies very well. Can very PC studies to say that homosexual men have subtly different brain structure, because people like me, who subscribe to the body and soul vision of humanity, believe that homosexual behavior is a choice that people make. We also believe that homosexuality is not an identity, it is a activity. And that's a really important distinction. You know, nobody would say, you know, I wouldn't walk around saying, you know, my identity is, I'm a blonde woman, lover. No, it's irrelevant. That's a side thing. That's not my identity. And so why people would go ahead and turn homosexuality into their identity? That's what I am. It made no sense, except if you wanted to build a power structure, then that's exactly what you wanted to do. This is something that Marx understood and Lenin understood, and way before those chaps, it. Is understood by a biblical character called Nimrod, and that too is part of a biblical blueprint that we need to understand. But the important thing is that during this time, they were excited to find subtle brain distinctions, not all men, and it was very, very subtle, but they did find something, and they, of course, said, Oh, so you see, homosexuality is defined. It's found in the brain. And they didn't understand the reality which you now understand, and that is that it is precisely homosexual behavior that causes these subtle brain differences. And I think that this was finally grasped, because they stopped. You know, you do not hear this anymore. It very quickly vanished, because it did become obvious, even to the other team. It did become obvious that these very slight brain distinction were not the were not the cause of what made people homosexual, but they were the result of homosexual behavior. It is behavior, conduct, activities and experience that change us, that make us who we are. It's also fairly well known that women working as linemen. You know what linemen are lugging heavy tools onto the top of electricity transmission towers, for instance, or also up onto the top of tall wind powered electricity turbine. You know those miracles that are going to change the reality of energy in the United States of America and Europe. Windmills that are going to solve the electricity problem, they are not exactly but what they will do is certainly kill birds, that's for sure. But at any rate, back to the main point. The main point is that women working in these very masculine activities, hard work, physically demanding, dangerous work experience, significant menstrual irregularity. Again, you know, not every single one, but enough for it to be a known thing. And so women who are going to be taken on to work for utility companies and electricity transmission companies as linemen, were warned right at the beginning, at at early sessions that were meant to, you know, let people get know what they're letting themselves in for. They were told that this is going to happen. Well, obviously, if you engage in masculine activities. And yes, there are activities that are more masculine and activities that are more feminine, if they depend on physical endurance, if they depend on body strength, if they are dangerous, those are masculine activity. And even if you are a female, biologically, when you do those activities, it will have a masculinizing effect on you, right? Not hard to understand. So if you are going to be working eight hours a day, 40 hours a week, on work that requires physical power and that are even danger, and they depend on strength and endurance, then these are going to cause emotional and psychic and spiritual masculinization, regardless of what your biological gender is. When you do it, men who do feminine type of jobs undergo subtle feminization. What? Uh, what? Well, again, you know, and this is so many men today where we're not working with things, we're working with words and ideas and people which are essentially more feminine, and we do them, and we do them just fine, but take a look at the body of a man who sat behind the desk for the last 20 years, and look at man who was his equal 20 years ago. Excepting for the last 20 years, he's been working as a construction Carpenter, framing houses. Take a look at their bodies, and you'll see exactly what I mean. Which one is more feminine and which one is more masculine. It's, just it's just a reality, the things we do change us. I've spoken about this before. Men who cry, there was a period where there was a certain kind of therapy, and therapists would sit with men and encourage them to bring out tears. And then some smart psychologist said, why don't we do some tests here. Once you're doing that anyway, let's check and see what happens to the testosterone, the male hormone for men in Well, would you be shocked to hear that the more crying therapy that these men underwent, the more their testosterone level dropped? Yeah, it's pretty obvious once you understand. And this principle that I'm focusing on today, what you do and how you do it changes you. I like putting it this way when I say that we ourselves, you and me and all of us are sculpted. We are sculpted by the things we do and by the experience we have. Right? Don't you feel differently when you're dressed in a smart and elegant way than when you're dressed like a slob. The way you dress Actually, yes, it impacts you don't women feel differently when they're wearing makeup and put together than when they're not, of course, right? Because these things have an impact. What we do with our bodies impacts our hearts and our minds and our personalities and our souls, which is we have to know that. And so anytime a young man seeking to find a wife asks me for advice, here's one of the first things I tell. I tell them a lot of things, but among the first things I say is start learning how to act confident. I realize you know that as a 22 year old guy, you know you're at the start of everything New York. You don't have a career yet. You're not making money yet. The odds are most 22 year old guys, you need help to learn how to act confident. And interestingly enough, for me, sort of in my fortune, advantage point of having spoken and worked and advised so many men, it's so interesting to me that when I coach men like this, they report to me how uncomfortable it makes them feel to be decisive around women, and I asked them if they know why, and some do and some don't, but the answer is, they've been conditioned by the culture you know, that you have to be deferential around women, not in a traditional way, but in a new way, traditional way, deferential. Do all the hard work, open the car door, open the room door, you know, carry her over the puddle, you know, that sort of thing. But spiritually, you you act like a leader, and they've been conditioned, and so they think that the right thing to do for a first date is start when you ask her for a date, you got to ask her what she wants to do, or worse, when you pick her up. So what would you like to do? This poor girl, they hate it. For one thing, they have no idea of how to dress. They dress for a lunch date at a smart restaurant, and the guy takes them on a long hike through a national park or a Provincial Park, really? So, yeah, girls hate being asked. So what do you want to do? What do you feel like doing? No, don't do that. And I explain this to the guys, but it's fascinating. And I say you've got to act confident, even though you don't feel it, because that eventually makes you a more confident man. When you behave like a leader, you begin to feel more leader like, what is what is being? What is feeling more leader like? Well, you can, you can imagine, but you know what, I'm going to be dealing with that on the bonus podcast for We Happy Warrior members, for people of the Happy Warrior community. But you get the idea, right? The it's the action that shapes our personalities, it's the action that sculpts our spiritual reality. The things we do and the experiences we undergo have a profound impact on what we become, because there is no real you other than at this very moment, at this instant of time, but otherwise, yesterday, there was a different you. And here's the good news, tomorrow can be another you as well. That's the great thing. And so I hope you have a blessed series of tomorrows until we meet again. Tomorrow is where you take the actions and you do the things, whether you are a man or a woman, you do the things that move you along in the strategic direction of improved family, finance, friendships, fitness, and, of course, faith. I'm Rabbi Daniel, and I am so grateful for you being here with me today. God bless.
