TRANSCRIPT
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The Rabbi Daniel Lapin Podcast
Episode: Happy Enduring Marriages Based on Love or Respect?
Date: 05/30/25 Length: 00:46:18
Daniel Lapin 0:01
Greetings, happy warriors. And thank you for being part of the rabbi Daniel Lapin show, where I your rabbi reveal how the world really works. Thanks for being part of the show. And thank you so much for helping to promote the show, passing it around. Thank you for encouraging others to become happy warriors. Because as we work towards improving our families and our finances, our friendships, our fitness and our faith, it's so much more delightful to do that in company with other people, and I find myself regularly refreshed and rejuvenated as I read the interactions between all of you on the we happy warrior chat site and discover how much you each help one another. And I'm so excited to be able to have brought that about and to be a part of it. And back in 1967 The Beatles sang the song, all you need is love. And you know, everybody heard it, and the lyrics will be familiar to you, even in the sense that, as I say, a few of the words of the lyrics, it's going to come back to you. You're going to remember now you probably weren't listening to it 1967 but whenever you listen to it's on the it's on the airwaves all the time. There's nothing you can do that cannot be done, there's nothing you can sing that can't be sung, nothing you can say, but you can learn how to play the game. It's easy. Nothing you can make that can't be made, no one you can save that can't be saved, nothing you can do. But you can learn how to be you in time. It's easy. All you need is love. Now, what I used to think it meant was that with love, you can achieve everything. There's a reference to mountains in the song. So you know that is such a common metaphor, climb every mountain from the 1960 movie, whose name eludes me at the moment, but the sound of music, that's right. Movie, climb every mountain. So you might have thought that that John Lennon in All You Need Is Love. Is saying, Look, with love, you can climb every mountain. But that's not what he's saying. He's really saying, there's nothing you can do that can't be done. Meaning, if you can do it, you can do it, and if you cannot do it, you cannot do it. That's what he's saying. Nothing you can sing that can't be sung, right? And just read, just transpose the phrases, nothing that can't be sung. Can you sing? Yeah, that's right, nothing that can't be done. Can you do and can't be done by who? By you. That's it. And it's a game. How to play the game, it's easy. There's nothing that can't be made that you can make. There's nothing that can't be saved that you can save. So in other words, just settle down and enjoy love, because that's all you really need. And so in the past, I have often criticized this idea that all you need is love, the notion that to build a marriage and to build a family, all you need is love. You know, it is not only trite, but it's completely untrue and destructive, certainly not a helpful piece of information. But over here, I'm saying that the entire thrust of the song is that there's not much point in trying to do anything. Don't try and achieve anything. Don't try and build anything, because at the bottom line, all you really need is love and not to detract from John Lennon's brilliance. But this is a guy who couldn't read music, you know, which makes him even more amazing, you could say. But he wrote the song, apparently, in five or 10 minutes. And so for us to devote valuable minutes of the rabbi Daniel Lapin show, even valuable seconds of the rabbi Daniel Lapin show on over analyzing what is essentially a pretty little nothing, right? It's catchy tune and the lyrics are clever. They are they are catchy also, even though they go the range from meaning. Nothing to meaning something subversive really. I mean, do you really want your child to be taught that there's nothing worth doing except just have love? And so, you know, you might say that we're still over analyzing it, but, but here's the thing, it's worth looking into what millions of impressionable young people who made gods or idols out of the Beatles understood this to mean, because that's what happens young people who were really into the Beatles would actually sit around recess in school talking about what it means and and they knew and understood and that it meant. On the one hand, you know you all you need in a relationship is love, and on the other hand, also that, other than having love, nothing else is worth trying to do, because it can't be done anyways. So how many young people going into what would later turn out to be doomed marriages told themselves at the start that All You Need Is Love. The number is high. I have no idea what it is, but I think it's the majority. Sadly, it's the majority of people who get married, and that's even still today, and I'll tell you in a moment about young couples whom I have counseled before marriage, premarital counseling, sometimes before they get engaged, sometimes during their engagement. And I'll tell you about that in just a moment. But first of all, let's try and clarify what love is. And I'm pausing, I'm just, I'm giving you a second or two to actually think about this. What do you think love means? You know, if somebody says to you, I love you, what does that mean to you? Has your life changed at that moment? And of course, you know, everybody remembers being in a relationship and the first time that you might have said or the other person might have said to you, or you might have said to the other, I think I love you. And you have to decide how to respond very quickly if you didn't prepare yourself. You know, what do you say thank you, or more likely, you said, I love you too. I know I love you. This is, this is what people say in early stages of a relationship. So what does it mean? So I want to tell you something very important. I like to think that most of what I tell you is very important. I like to think that I wouldn't waste your time on anything that is not important. I above all, want to make sure that time that you dedicate to the rabbi Daniel Lapin, show gives you a valuable return is useful to you. So what is love? And here's the important statement, first and foremost, love is a feeling. First and foremost, love is a feeling. And the sequel to that point number two is feelings are not solid. Feelings are not anchored to anything. And so you think to yourself, if, if, if, let's imagine, and I don't have to imagine. I've had this so many times where a woman sits down with me and tells me that her husband has had an affair, and what does he and you want to do? What is the plan? And here there are two separate, diverging approaches. One is where she says, Well, we're trying to put things together, and I'm trying to figure out if he still loves me. And here's a hard thing to understand. To whatever extent love means anything at all, it is perfectly possible that he had an affair and still loves you, absolutely possible remembering first and foremost, love is a feeling, and we are capable of having more than one feeling. You.
Daniel Lapin 10:01
Yeah, I remember the young man who came to tell me he'd just lost his dad. He had a very good relationship with his father, and he's feeling absolutely horrible. But what he's mostly feeling horrible about is that he's just learned that in his father's will, he's being left enough money that he'll never have to work again in his life. And he came to see me because he was so distraught that feelings of happiness and gratitude were creeping in and overwhelming his feelings of sorrow and sadness and missing and longing. And I said to him what I've told you here on the show, very often, very important thing to know, and that is the good Lord created us with the remarkable ability to feel not only two feelings at the same time, but even two conflicting feelings at the same time, right? And this is something that Susan Lapin and I have experienced over the past year, nearly a year, 11 months, in the sense that we deeply miss our daughter, we are suffused by a constant overlay of sadness and sorrow, and there are even moments of uncontrollable grief that well up in our hearts, but at exactly the same time, we could be enjoying a moment of profound joy. We could be looking at a beautiful scenery. We could be walking together through a park. We could be watching a little child play so we laugh with joy at that moment. Does that mean the sadness? Isn't it? No, still there. It's important to realize that it's perfectly healthy to be able to experience two simultaneous feelings, even when they conflict. And so yes, I would say in the majority of men whom I have counseled who were unfaithful in their marriage, the majority of them have said to me how strange it is because they feel they would say they absolutely love their wives, absolutely yeah, I get that. That's not a problem. I totally understand that. And the only reason it becomes an enigma, and the only time it begins to bother people is when they forget or they don't know in the first place that it's perfectly okay and perfectly natural and perfectly normal to experience more than one feeling at a time, even when the feelings conflict. Now it's very difficult, if not impossible. No, I'm going to say it's impossible to act with two conflicting directives in two conflicting directions at the same time, you're either walking north or you're walking south, you're either treating somebody nicely or you're treating somebody unpleasantly. Actions are very different. A great actor can communicate the feeling, but he can't communicate two simultaneous feelings. I don't think that can be done. I'm sure some of you who know more about the act, the skill and art of drama and acting, might disagree with me on that, and we would probably have an interesting conversation. And if you are already a happy warrior, well then I'd love to hear from you in the happy warrior community. Do you think it is possible for an actor to convey two conflicting emotions simultaneously? And if you can, by the way, I'd love you to give me an example so I could perhaps get a clip of it on YouTube and take a look. But my current view on this at the moment is that while I can certainly feel two conflicting emotions at the same time, I cannot experience I cannot act in two conflicting ways at the same time. And so the the the question I often ask young couples is, why are you getting married? And I will tell you that other than those that are firmly rooted in a Judeo Christian tradition, and sometimes even them, the majority of couples over the years have said to me, because we are in love, why are you getting married? Because we're in love. So that is the question, and that is the answer in the overwhelming majority of cases. And what do I say? Not always some, you know, I try and weigh up before I speak to people, I do my best to weigh up, number one, whether they can hear what I'm saying. You know, not everybody can hear everybody. I might be the wrong person to convey an idea, but even if I'm the right person, sometimes the person who I'm speaking is simply not able to hear, particularly, any idea that creates cognitive dissonance, any idea which is which disagrees with the viewpoint that they hold. So very often, when I have something to say, I don't say it, which is why I have an almost unbreakable rule, which is I never give unsolicited advice, you know, other than to my own children and even that, only up till they're married. My wife and I do not give unsolicited advice if somebody hasn't asked us for advice, we keep quiet, because almost inevitably, giving information a particular advice which is in itself potentially offensive, means I think you're wrong. And here is what I think is the better way for you to go. There's no point in it, you're just harming the relationship, and it gets something off your shoulders. I had to say something. I couldn't let that go without saying something. Well, maybe you should learn to do exactly that, because you achieved absolutely nothing good whatsoever. And so I assume that people who book time with me and consult with me and ask me to teach them something, or want me to be a coach. I'm assuming they do want to hear and so in that case, I tell them what they need to know. But in these cases, I don't always respond, but when I do, I very often say, so you're getting married because you're in love. And they smile at each other and not enthusiastically, and a hand reaches across and grabs another hand. They hold hands together, nodding excitedly. And then, you know, this is why I'm not very popular, because I then say, so if you feel out of love is that when you will end the marriage, and the smile vanishes off the face and a look of perplexity replaces it, and then they usually fall back on what we all say when we need desperately need a moment to think of an answer. What do you mean? I'm not sure I understand what you mean. Well, yes, you do, but you need a few moments to figure it out. And so I'll say, Okay, well, here's what I mean, you marrying him because he loves you, right? And the sweet young thing nods and says, Yes, but she's looking a little puzzled now, and I say, well, could you imagine a time, 25 years in the future when he loves somebody else? You won't mind, right? Because your marriage is built on love, and so when he stops loving you and loves somebody else, you will gracefully step aside and let him depart your marriage and marry the sweet young thing whom he now has told who he loves and she's now not. He won't do that. We our love is eternal. Our love is real, at which point I got to tell you, it's hard for me to stop myself from throwing up. You'll pardon the imagery. I don't mean to be vulgar about that, but I've heard that so many times and seen so many disasters from that and so what she sometimes says is, well, he promised to love me forever. And I say, well, don't you think you're being a bit silly? This is, you know, this is why I have so many friends. Don't you think it's a bit silly to trust somebody who is telling you today how he will feel in in 25 years time? Look, I'm sorry, but I don't even know what I will feel like for dinner tomorrow night. How on earth can anybody know what he'll feel like in 25 years time? And at this point, they're beginning to see that there's a point to this conversation. It's just a feeling, and some couples just want to get out of my presence as quickly as they possibly can. You can see why I have so many friends and
Daniel Lapin 19:58
other couples then. Are very interesting, they say, so if we're not getting married because we love each other, why are we getting married? And then we have the foundation for a meaningful conversation in so we can start looking at what really is going on here. And by the way, I've got to tell you, occasionally it has happened. You know, in my career, both as a marriage coach and as a rabbi, it has happened occasionally that a couple postpones the wedding, you know if, if the engagement was going to be short. Sometimes this conversation among serious couples, but generally speaking, they realize that they need to re look into this. Okay, so where does it go from here? Well, we say that, I explain that basing a major life decision on how you feel and feelings are ephemeral. They come, they go. They're not moored to anything substantial. They're not anchored to any reality. As I said, you know, you don't know what you're going to feel like tomorrow. Sometimes I laugh at what I used to feel like yesterday. Feelings come and go and I mean, you've got to realize that love is a feeling, and you've got to realize that to base something important, an important decision on a feeling makes no sense whatsoever. How many purchasing decisions did you make out of the feeling of love? Now you might not have identified as, oh, you know, I love that electronic gadget. I love that beautiful scarf made of Nepalese mountain goat, wool, I love it, and you have to buy it, and then it sits in your closet or your wardrobe, or your armoire, you know, for 15 years, and you end up wearing it three times well, because I don't love it anymore. Love is a feeling. I loved it yesterday, I don't necessarily love it today. And obviously that is true with romantic relationships as well. It happens. And so if you want to know the difference, my primary difference between marriages that lost, marriages that don't last marriage is based on love. Almost always, when a marriage founders, hits rocks and then breaks up, almost always they married because they loved each other. Now, not everyone who marries who loves each other goes overboard, no, but of those who divorced, the majority of them married in the first place because they loved each other. So what does make a relationship? How does that work? Any relationship, friendship or financial a business relationship, a friend relationship, how does, What? What? What? What makes that work? And the answer is, it works because of actions, not feelings. And I'm going to show you that relationships that are romantic are no different, or should be no different, but because of the power of sexual attraction, we are misled because we understand that in business relationships, friendships, we understand that what is important are actions, not feelings. How you behave to that person, the appreciation you show, the enjoyment in their company, the cooperation on a project together, the consideration that you show. And what happens is that, over a period of time, actions produce a feeling of commitment. That's what does it right? You have a friend. It's wonderful to have a friend and that you know that person helped you out. You helped that person out, and this chain of mutual actions produces a feeling of connection and a feeling of commitment, because we are always most committed to that which we are most invested in, right? And I've taught this before that the deepest. Feelings of commitment are from people who have done a lot for other people, not from people who've received a lot towards the people who bestowed goodness upon them. And you can see this because anybody who's lived a few years knows that in general, parents are more committed to their children than children are to their parents. Right now there's 1000 therapists getting paid good money for telling their clients or patients that you need to separate from your parents. They're toxic. They're causing all the troubles you feel, feel, feel, that's what's going on right now. It's strange from your parents, by the way, any therapist, counselor or advisor tells you to do that you're being guided by a charlatan. 99.9% of the cases in 99.999% of the cases that's not going to solve your problems, it's going to cause and create additional problems. And so parents are much more committed to children than children are to parents. Children, parents very seldom decide to estrange themselves from their children, but children do decide to estrange themselves from their parents. Now, who has done more for who? Pretty obvious, parents have done much more for children than children have done for parents. And therefore you learn and understand that He who does most for another person ends up feeling the strongest connection with that person. Does this give you a clue on perhaps, how to build a marriage loving each other? Oh, we are in love. We love each No, just do things for each other, and you will mysteriously and paradoxically, love each other. What works in relationships, whether they're friendships or business relationships, are actions, not feelings, and partially, because this is really important suffer. I'm hoping you're jumping up and down with excitement as I'm telling you this, because you're going to be saying to yourself, Oh, my goodness, yeah, this is true. God, that's Wow. This is amazing. Yeah, it is. And when you really understand this, when you wrap yourself around these principles of how the world really works, you will be better equipped in your own life and in helping and guiding the lives of those to whom you are committed, actions produce commitment, because we human beings feeling feel connection and commitment to that which we are most invested in. So when you feel in love with that Nepalese scarf or that Apple iPad, and you can't help yourself. You've just got to go and buy it, because you love it so much. And indeed, you revel in the passion of your relationship with that object. For the first, I don't know, day, week, month, maybe, but down the road, feelings change, right? And you're not that excited about this thing you bought, and now you've got to go and rent a storage unit so you can put all the things you bought in, because you have nowhere to put them all because you were in love with them when you bought them, but you don't stay in love with them. You know why? Because you cannot act on your possessions, and your possessions cannot reflect the fact that you have acted on them. People feel much more committed to their pets or other animals, right? There are people who really remain committed to their horse farmers. There are farmers who have who really like and sort of have a connection with their cows. They they feel warmly towards well, because you can't help it after you've got up late in the night to help a cow birth a calf, or you're up every morning to make sure the cows get milked, or you're up every morning to feed your cow. You bet you feel a connection with that cow because you are acting towards that cow. You are doing things huge difference. And so it is, you know, you feed your dog, you feed your cat, whatever it is you do feel close to them, because actions towards an object make now, I shouldn't say object. Actions towards something make you feel committed to that thing. And so back to the young couples that I counsel and I say to them, what does loving mean? Right? So you're getting married because you love each other. And I don't mean to mock it, I do that sort of almost.
Daniel Lapin 29:59
I'm. And intentionally, just because it's so sad to me, I've seen so much calamity as a result of making decisions on the basis of feelings. How on earth can you make a life decision on the basis of a feeling? How can you make any decision on a feeling? And so I actually have noted down what people have said to me over the years, and I don't have it's not a very long list, because it's repetitive. There's not that much variation. When I push young couples to tell me what do they mean, sometimes not so young as well, by the way, what do they mean when they say we love each other? What does it mean? Explain to me how, how would you know that somebody loves you? That's very much how I put it. And so if I let me glance at my notes right now, and I'll tell you, these are the things people have said, and I know don't burst out laughing. Some of them are laughable, but imagine my role as Rabbi. Imagine what it's like that I have to sit there and keep a straight face when a starry eyed young man says to me, Well, I know she loves me because she likes to spend time with me. Well, that would go for your puppy as well. I shouldn't do that. Sorry. She says, and I don't have to split it up by gender, but she'd say, well, he asks me about my day. Okay. He wants to know where I am. That's how I know that he loves me. She helps me when I need help. That's how I know she loves me. That's what people are saying to me. She says he listens to my views and takes them into account. Okay, all right, but these are the things that you base a marriage on? Well, actually, yes, because I want you to note that they are all responding to my challenge to define a feeling in terms of actions. Do you get the problem? You can't define a feeling in terms of feelings, that's the whole problem, but it's all undefined. So he says, yes, she helps me when I need help. That's how I know she loves me. Listens to your views and takes them into account, shows affection, and this one, that one comes equally from men and women. Listen to this one. I'm just reading them in order as I have them in my notes, likes to look at you. That's how I know. That's how I know he loves me, because he likes to look at me. Oh my goodness, he likes to talk about the past. It noticed that not a single one that I'm reading here is anything other than an action makes time for you. Um, they can apologize sincerely. I uh, action, not feeling. They go out of their way to make you smile. They support your dreams. Here's show affection. Oh, I had that. I put that down twice, actually. Anyway, it's understandable, because I'm talking to people when I'm making these notes, and I don't want to be distracted, they show appreciation for everything you do. I'm not sure I want to be with somebody who shows appreciation for everything I do, because there are times I do things that don't deserve appreciation. I should be helped to stop doing the things not show appreciation for everything you do. But I put them these down as they told them to me, how do how do I? How do you know they love you, they're nice to your friends and family. Here's another interesting one. They fight fair. They try to speak your love language. Again, it's one action after another they show you off and praise you in public, consistent communication. Women usually quality time. He prioritizes spending time with you. He shows concern for your well being supports your goals. We like planning our future. There was another one we like planning our future so we're in love honesty and transparency. Okay? He put. It's effort into our relationship. This is, here's a weird one. I mean, talk about action, not feeling physical touch. We like hugging and kissing. There it is, gifts, acts of service, help, being helpful. All right? You get the idea, right? That's the that's the gist of it. So the value proposition that I'm presenting to you now is, hey, since I hope we've come to agree that there's not a single thing in all of these things. There are feelings. This is all actions that we may as well drop the love from the equation. And so I should probably say to the young couple, so please tell me, why are you marrying one another? However you may not use the word love in your answer, and now it changes dramatically. Previously. When I said, Why are you getting married? They answered in a millisecond. We love each other. We fell in love. It takes no time at all, but as soon as I say, Why are you getting married to each other, but don't use the word love, please. Now all of a sudden, they look each other, they smile a bit awkwardly, and they start thinking, the brain wheels start turning, and by the way, I hope you start doing this with people in your life as well. That way you'll be able to avoid having friends, as I do, sadly, not a way to win friends. But if you're serious about the conversation and somebody wants your opinion, and they say, we're getting married, you might say, Why are you getting married? But don't use the word love, and you'll find out how really, very informative, how interesting it is. You might even think about it in your own marriage. If you are in a secure marriage and you really are, you've, you know, you've been married for more than a few years, and you're comfortable, you might ask yourself even, or even have a conversation with your spouse, you know, why? Why did you get married? And don't use the word love. Think about that, and you might try practicing it as well. In ancient Jewish wisdom, there is a statement is that a man must love his wife much more than he loves himself. Excuse me, he must love his wife as much as he loves himself, but he must honor her much more than he honors himself. Which takes us to the question, which is often in marriage encounters, it's discussed and in marriage books and in marriage counseling, it's again and again and again and again. And if I sound sick of it, I've just had too much of it. And that's the oh, we're gonna have this profound, important. You know what this is like? By the way, it's like when many Jewish people will say to me, this is my people. I mean, I don't want to sound negative, but people will say to me, I can't believe in God. Since the Holocaust, since God allowed innocent, millions of innocent people to go to the gas chambers, you know, come on. I mean, I've been hearing that one since I was in elementary school. What you're looking for is an excuse to detach from God. That's all you're looking for. An excuse. You haven't thought this one through one little bit. You want a serious discussion about why God let the Holocaust happen. Happy to tell you about that, happy to talk about it. It's not going to be comfortable. You may not love it all, but it's going to give you something to think about. What you're talking about is just an excuse. That's the sort of thing I'm talking about. Oh, please, not again, not another debate about what's more important in marriage, love or respect. It's tiresome. I'm sure you've heard it many times as well, and so as a public service here on the rabbi Daniel Lapin show, for each of you happy warriors to make it possible for you to indeed solve this problem, this huge enigma of, how do I decide what's more important? Love or respect? Make it easy for you. You can love all that matters is respect. Because the deep feeling of emotion.
Daniel Lapin 39:49
Forgive me, please, happy warriors, it's not terribly professional, but I'm not in studio. I'm actually on the road. I'm traveling, and. And I don't, handily and easily have the ability to remove that telephone call interruption, so my apologies, and I hope I haven't thrown us off the line of thinking too badly, but I'm saying on this big debate Enigma, this huge, monstrous, irresolvable problem. Oh, what's more important in a marriage? Love or respect? The solution is fairly easy, and that is, you can just leave love out. It's not important. What's more important in a marriage is respect. You know why? Because respect means actions. Respect is not a feeling. Respect is actions and and you can tell because if somebody says, Oh, I love you, and I say, Well, you're not showing it much, how do you don't show feelings. Feelings are internal feelings or ephemeral feelings happen. You can't tell me I don't love you. I absolutely do love you. Well, you cheated, you had an affair. Well, I still love you. Okay. Do you respect me? That's a different conversation. Obviously, not. Because there is no way unless you are the best actor in the world or one of the best actors, to convey love is very, very difficult without acting. I mean, even putting your face into a certain expression is an action, and you show love, but it's a feeling. For heaven's sake, it's deep inside your soul that that's where it is, and it's not doing anyone much good there, to be perfectly honest. Now, respect is much more important honoring as the ancient Jewish wisdom phrase, honor your wife more than you honor yourself. Respect is, I think, almost as good a word as honor and some more contemporary word, but now respect means certain actions, and when you act respectfully towards a woman, if you're a man or a woman, acts respectfully towards her husband or the man she wants to marry. Obviously, acting respectfully is not exactly the same action for a man as it is for a woman, but if each one shows respect appropriately, the end result is commitment. There's connection, and then commitment because showing respect, doing these actions of respect are actions that means you're investing into the relationship, and that means you end up feeling closer to the other person. See the incredibly powerful idea here. It's counterintuitive, and only the manufacturer's instruction manual could possibly have told us this, and that is that there's a relationship between a man and a woman, right? And I you know each one wants the relationship to flourish and to develop, and you say to yourself, What can I do that'll make her love me? What can I do that'll make him love me? And the answer is that if you both act respectfully, then you will end up loving the other person. You can't make somebody else love you. How can you create somebody else's feelings? You can't you. You can't reach into their soul and twist a knob and make them feel a certain thing. You can take certain actions however, which might well invoke that feeling. And if that feeling is is there? Well, then the right thing for the other person to do is to act respectfully towards you as well. And following along these lines, what you discover, very interestingly, is that all those things that I was reading to from my notes are the result of acting respectfully towards somebody likes to spend time with you. Yeah, you know what? I'm busy. I've got a lot of things pulling but it's important to my wife that we spend some time together, and I'd respect her, so I'm going to take the action that would show respect I'm not respecting. If I say, Look, you know, go for a walk by yourself. I'm too busy. Is that respectful? No, of course, not. Helps you when you need help, listens to your views and takes them into account. Every single one of these things is the consequence of respect. It's an act you take following the guideline of respect. Now that doesn't mean that you have to agree with the other person. You know you can debate and discuss, but in a respectful way. Well, didn't she say that? She said, people who love each other fight fair, right? That's the action. And so my dear happy warriors, I think you get the gist here, right? Love or respect. It's pretty clear. All you need is. Love? No. John Lennon, not exactly. But then I really don't think that any happy warrior listening to this ever thought to themselves, that the words, all you need is love are true. The secondary part of the song has even less meaning or reality or goodness to it. So again, the purpose of the podcast is not to criticize a 1967 song, Gosh, 60 years ago, almost, but it is to make it better on the family front, remembering that marriage has much more to do with respect than it does with love. And so dear happy warriors. I hope those of you who are members will tune into the bonus podcast for members, and I hope you'll have a chance to comment on this conversation, on this podcast, and we can have a conversation as a result of that. So all of that at rabbi. Daniel lapin.com Until next week, I remain your rabbi, wishing for you a week of moving onwards and upwards with your family and your finances, your friendships, your fitness and your faith. God bless you.
