TRANSCRIPT
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The Rabbi Daniel Lapin Podcast
Episode: Raise Kind, Benign Kids, Not Brutal, Callous Monsters
Date: 12/22/25 Length: 00:47:06
Daniel Lapin 0:00
Greetings, Happy Warriors and thank you for being part of the Rabbi Daniel Lapin show, where I your rabbi reveal how the world really works. About a week ago from the time I'm recording this show, it turns out that a Hollywood director called Rob Ryan and his wife Michelle were murdered by their 32 year old son, Nick. And I thought, you know, this was something that we should talk about. So I first of all wondered, How common is this parasite? How often does it happen? And I confine my inquiries to the United States of America. How often does it happen that there is a murder case of a child killing parents? And I found, to my astonishment, that it was far more frequent than I thought. It's about two or three, two or 3% of all homicides in the country, about 300 a year in the United States. Now, again, 330 million people in the United States. And clearly, weird things happen among a population like that. You know, you say, even if the crazies are only a fraction of 1% that's a lot of people anyways, and we're able to dispel many issues by simply realizing that in a population of three 30 million people who today are fairly well connected. You know, not, not the way it used to be. But you know your local newspaper told you the events of your town and major events elsewhere, but not crime statistics or crime figures from another state or another city. Now, of course, if there's ever a bizarre crime committed anywhere in the United States of America, it's on everybody's news feed very quickly indeed. So let's take that into account and recognize that that is a reality. But still, about six a day. Excuse me, six a week. You know, maybe round about one a day in the United States of America of children killing parents and then I went, you know, looking for instances. And, of course, what stands out is the Menendez brothers. There was Lyle and Eric min den Menendez, and they are serving, I think, about 100 years with no parole, for the shotgun murders of their mother and their father, Jose and Kitty Menendez in 1989 and you know, people have been around a few years will Remember, I mean, there was all over the news and they, you know, they claimed that it was just, it was It was horrific. I mean, that any credence was even given. But you know, you know how courts are and what they do, but at any rate, they are in jail. And then there was the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting in 2012 What's that? 13 years ago? And that was a guy called Adam Lanza. And everybody knows that he killed all the people at the school, but very few people know that he killed his mother first, before he set out to commit his mass killings in 2015 in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma, Michael and Robert beaver killed their mother and their father and three siblings In 2016 right after Thanksgiving, Joel Michael guy killed both his parents. 2021, middle of 2021. In Wisconsin, a guy called Chandler haldeson Killed both his parents. Yeah, and then December the 14th, Rob and Michelle Reiner, well known Hollywood royalty, really. I mean, Rob Reiner's dad, Carl Reiner, was a big star, and Rob was an actor before he became a celebrated director. So it was all over the news. Everybody. Got it. And so I thought, you know, this would be a good time to examine seven fundamental rules about parenting, seven fundamental rules that make it more likely that you're going to raise empathetic kids rather than kids with callous indifference. That you're going to raise benign kids rather than brutal kids. You're going to raise children that are kind rather than cruel. No guarantees in this life. Yeah, we all know that certainly it's possible you can do everything right and end up with rotten children. You can also be dreadful parents doing absolutely horrible things, and every now and again, you will get an absolute phenomenal kid coming from that situation. So these, these do happen, but generally speaking, the statistics are fairly reliable. Generally speaking, wholesome parenting produces wholesome children. And yeah, so what? What is what? What is wholesome parenting? Well, before I tell you that, I also want to talk about the fact that it is today, coming to the end of the eight day holiday of Chanukah, and it obviously started off very, very badly on Bondi Beach in Australia, with a mass shooting there and that really tended to Color it for Jews all around the world, it certainly put a certain downer on the Hanukkah celebrations. I mean, obviously, again, everybody was very aware of just what happened in Sydney, Australia, and the response, interestingly enough, and I've spoken to a lot of people about this, I thought to myself, how many people decided that, given the anti Jewish hostility out there, and given what happened in Bondi Beach, and given the extraordinary reluctance of the Australian police to actually get involved for the first 10 minutes, several of them standing by while the shooting is going on, doing absolutely nothing. I wondered how many, and this was a very informal poll. I can't say that this is scientific or that it covers huge numbers of people, but I was interested. I did ask people in the United States, in Israel, in in England and I asked a few people in France and in Germany, yeah, I do get around, and I might and Switzerland, by the way. And I was curious how many people decided to not light Chanukah candles this year, or not to light them in the window. There is a strong tradition to light them visibly in the window. So if you drive through a Jewish neighborhood, you're going to find a lot of Chanukah lights in the windows, and people are doing that correctly. That is what we're supposed to do. And here's the interesting thing, I guess it has to do with the fact that the Bible calls us Hebrews a stiff necked people. But of all the people I spoke to, not a single person said that they were going to be changing their routines, lighting in an inside room, putting the candles on a table where they couldn't be seen from outside, not a single person. Now, my friends and the people I connect with are somewhat self selecting group, and so that may not really mean anything at all. But my sense is that, generally speaking, the reaction to this was not for fewer people to light Hannukah candles, which instantly identify you as Jewish, but actually for more people to do so. So I thought that was an interesting thing and, and that does seem to be the case, as far as I can tell, I will get more information on that in the days ahead, which I may or may not share with you, depending on the interest level. So, that was, that was the Hanukkah light question. And also, I wanted to tell you that there is a special price. I mean, $5 right? What? What many people spend on coffee in the morning, if you happen to go to a coffee shop of well known national prominence, whose name I shall not mention because they don't advertise on our.
Daniel Lapin 10:01
Show you know you'll spend that, but instead of that, you can actually get a resource called the Festival of Light, Transforming your Seven, your 24/7 existence, into a 25/8 life. The numbers 25 and eight are very significant. For Hanukkah. It's the only Jewish festival that starts on the 25th day of a Hebrew month. And it's also the only eight day long holiday. Some people might say, Well, what about Tabernacles? Tabernacles is seven days and the eighth what is an eighth day is actually a completely separate festival, a separate holiday. So, yeah, Hanukkah is the only eight day holiday, and there are a lot of important aspects about it. One of them, of course, is the question of energy, as I've explained before, Hanukkah highlights a conflict, a philosophical conflict, between Jerusalem and Greece, between Jerusalem and Athens. And not the Athens of today, but the classical Athens of Plato, the Athens of the Greek mythologies, of all the gods, the Greek gods, and the time of the Peloponnesian War and Sparta and Athens, that period Greeks stood for a very Clear philosophical outlook, and it was essentially a secular outlook and Outlook with no room in it at all for God, and that continues to be a fundamental conflict in philosophy between two separate populations in the United States of America, no longer is America as The Pledge of Allegiance states one nation under god indivisible, not true at all. It's two nations occupying the same piece of real estate, and what they differ about is fundamentally whether Judeo Christian bible based culture is vital for America's survival. And about half the country pretty much says yes, or whether Judeo Christian, Bible based culture is a terrible obstacle to progress, and roughly 50% of the country says that. And these are two utterly incomparable viewpoints. One is Jerusalem and one is Athens. So 3000 years have gone by, and this still remains a very major issue and that is why, if you were to tell me how you stand on that question, do you think Bible based, Judeo, Christian values are vital for America's survival? Well, I'll know how you feel about abortion, about homosexuality, about taxation, about education of children, about family structure, role of government. I'll know a whole lot of things about your attitude, and I'll be largely correct If, on the other hand, you tell me that you believe that Judeo, Christian, Bible based values are a primitive obstruction to progress, then I've got a pretty good sense of how you feel about transgenderism. I know how you feel about public education. I know how you feel about families and marriage. That's really how it goes. I mean, it sounds as if it's an oversimplification to be able to say, well, you know what? Three 30 million people are divided into those who believe that Judeo, Christian, Bible based values are necessary for the country's survival, and those who believe that they are primitive obstructions to progress, and it does sort of seem simple. And yeah, there are a whole lot of people haven't really thought about it. But what I'm believing is that if you actually sat down with people with all that, what an interesting question. I never thought about that. Okay, well, let's just quickly talk about it. You know, it's possible you're not an ardent church going believer, but in general, who would you align yourself? Who would you rather hang out with? Who would you rather be on your side, if push comes to shove and on that basis, I think pretty much everybody will decide either one way or the other. There are people who are militant secularists who want nothing to do with religion, nothing to do with Judaism or Christianity, nothing to do with God. And then there are other people on the other side, and I talk about this in the Festival of Light, Transform your 24/7 existence into a 25/8 life. You'll find it on website, by the way. At Rabbi Daniel lapin.com just go to the store. You'll see it. It's on a special during the holiday of Chanukah. You want to take advantage of this. I think you'll find it very, very interesting. I think it'll raise questions you haven't thought about, questions you may want to discuss with family and friends. And it'll also shed a great deal of light on things. One of the interesting aspects of Hanukkah that it's burning flames, usually in olive oil, or, you know, or solidified oil, namely, candles. It raises the whole question of use of energy, and once again, it is part of the Greek view that energy is not for ordinary people like you and me. It's only for the gods. It's for the Al Gore's. It's for the prestigious and elite group of people. And in Greek mythology, of course, Prometheus wanted to bring the benefits and blessings of energy in the form of fire to all of humanity, and he is still being tortured to this day for having stolen energy from the gods and shared it with humanity. By contrast, the Judeo Christian bible based tradition, has the account, and I may have told you about this before. It's the most, most beautiful story of Adam is weeping in humiliation at having failed God's test and being thrown out of the Garden of Eden. And all of a sudden, he finds himself on the threshold of a harsh world, a world of coldness and a world of darkness, a frightening world. And he said to God, I don't know how I'm going to survive. And God said, Look, you got to leave the Garden of Eden. However, I'm going to give you a great gift. And God showed him how to strike stones together with some kindling and start a fire. And God, and I don't know what's this, what's happened? God said, This is great. Keeps dangerous animals away. It lets you transform inedible stuff into delicious food. You make a nice barbecue, it'll let you build things and create things. It's a wonderful blessing. So here are two utterly different and I speak about this in the context of Hanukkah, two utterly opposing and incompatible viewpoints about energy. And you know that the left in the United States of America and elsewhere in the Western world, the left is hostile to the use of energy. In fact, a great deal of government policy during Biden, during Obama was indeed the suppression of the use of bountiful and cheap so called fossil fuels. I don't call them FF, fossil fuels. I call them GG, God given fuels. I also think there's a very high probability that we're not running out of oil at all in the foreseeable future. So at any rate, there's a lot of these very inflammable political issues. Go back to this fundamental clash between Jerusalem and Athens. So go ahead enjoy it. And go to the website, www Rabbi Daniel lapin.com go to the store and get Festival of Lights, transforming your 24/7 existence into a 25 eight life, and it will open up new vistas to you, I'm sure, and I'd love to hear from you. I know you'll enjoy it, and I want to hear thoughts that that you have in that context.
Daniel Lapin 18:34
And so, yeah, please, please, go ahead and do that, and let us jump straight into what are the seven things that smart parents should do, and when I say smart parents, you know, let me tell you one of the very first things you should do, work on your marriage. Make sure that your children grow up in a marriage where mom and dad, love one another, respect one another, and are infatuated with one another. Yes, that they are passionate about one another. That's one of the best things you can do for your children. It really is. And I've often been asked this question from women who say that my husband wants me to go with him on a business trip. You know, put whatever kind of trip very often with with me. It's my husband's got a deal where wife travels for free, and he wants me to go on this business trip. It's to a nice destination, but I've never left the children alone. Well, not leaving them alone? Well, they could, they'd be staying with grandparents. I've never done that before, and I really feel bad. I feel my obligation is to my children and I have explained again and again. And I certainly want any of you thinking about this question to be aware that the biblical answer. Answer is unequivocally, put the children with a grandparents or with a aunt or an uncle or a close friend. Let them stay. If you can keep them all together, they will be great, by the way, it does work better. You know, maybe a friendly couple that you've been kind to will be agreeable about moving into your home? We had many and many, many, many people who were beneficiaries of our hospitality. From time to time, we'd ask them for the favor we have a three day trip we'd like to go together. Would you mind moving into our house for three days? And you know, we did that? Yes, your husband. The fact that a female is protective towards her children, that's biology, but we human beings are asked to climb a little higher, to overcome our natural instincts, to reach higher than biology, but reach towards spiritual truths, and in that case, it is worthwhile knowing that ladies, moms, your first priority is your husband, your husband's first priority is his children. Isn't that how you'd want it and children will. Children always turn to mom. Think of it as a unbreakably Strong triangle of family life. Children face to Mom, mom to dad, and Dad towards the children. And so we go way beyond biology, and I stress how terribly important it is that if opportunities present for the two of you to get away and have a little bit of time together and and the truth is that for for all kinds of interesting reasons, being alone together, for a husband and wife in a Hotel, is just very different. It's energizing and stimulating and very enjoyable for many reasons. You know, you're away. There's no nobody's going to knock on the door if you have the chance, husband and wife to spend time together, away. Yes, of course, the children will be alone. It's just fine, because children derive huge security from seeing mom and dad in love with one another. Mom and Dad just tied together. And so obviously that's a very, very big thing and so, yes, you want to raise healthy children, children who are going to have the right values in terms of kindness rather than cruelty, and I'm not even talking about murdering parents. That's way out, right? It's an extreme. But children who behave kindly towards parents and to their siblings. First step is without question. Work on your marriage and and now I want to go through the seven specifics, and they are number one, let your children do things for you, encourage them to do things for you, require them to do things for you. Here's the principle. The principle is that we, human beings, care much more for things or people in whom we invest than things or people who invest in us. We care much more about people we help and we do things for then we care for people who do things for us. It's kind of counterintuitive, right, isn't it? Wouldn't you have thought, hey, you know we're so grateful for everything they've done for us. No, that's not so simple. Gratitude is not an easily come by emotion, and as a matter of fact, we very often resent people who've done us favors, and especially if they're big favors and they've done good things. You know, people say no good deed goes unpunished. That's an expression relating to this tendency of human beings not to love people who've done them good. Sometimes people say, and I've heard this few times, somebody complains, I can't believe what he's got against me. And when you know they'll usually be a wise guy in the audience who'll say, Well, you've probably done him a favor recently and, and that's just a well known thing, but where you've invested Okay, where's the best example? Best example of that is that children do not necessarily always love their parents. Parents almost always love their children. I remember. Checking ones in LA County I was I was just curious to see how many, over the course of a 10 year period, looking at court case records, how many parents who own property evicted their children, and how many children who own property in which a parent was a tenant evicted a parent? There's no comparison. I found lots of cases, and in many of those cases, the judge had strong and very stern remarks to make towards the children, saying, Look, I am going to grant this eviction. I think you're a terrible child. I think it's an immoral thing you're doing, but the law is with you, and yes, you can invict evict your father. It's very hard to find cases of parents evicting their children other than situations of, you know, children in advanced ages who still live in the basement. And I've even advised parents in that situation how to go about a gentle eviction. But the point I'm making here is that our biological instinct is just to constantly do things for our children. We want our children to have a better childhood than we had. We want our children to want for absolutely nothing, and if anything, our tendency is to spoil our children, giving them too much, and that is the problem here. They end up resenting. They end up because there's no way of paying it back, and they feel that they've got, you know, receiving charity is corrosive to the soul of anybody of any age, and to begin with, children already, deep down, realize how much they owe their parents. Yes, one of the proofs of that is that precocious teenagers will sometimes say, I didn't ask you to bring me into this world. I didn't ask you to conceive me. I didn't ask you to give birth to me. But those statements and comments are themselves validation that deep down, they know they have to say thank you. They owe gratitude for these things, and they don't. They don't come easily.
Daniel Lapin 27:13
So how do you avoid resentment stewing? You let your children do things for you. You make demands on them, helping around the house, showing respect Mother and Father, each requiring respect for the other. It always works better when you say to your child, you may not speak to mommy like that, or she says, Don't you dare speak to your father that way, much better than if each one looks after their own interests in that sense. So that that would be a really important one. Ask your children to do things. Let give them an opportunity to feel closer to you by investing in you as well. So and, you know, we tend not to do that. People sometimes feel it's, you know, I can't turn my child into a servant. I would never dream of asking them to help do chores around the house, you know, mow the lawn, help with whatever. Wouldn't dream of doing that. Why not? You're doing a big disservice to your family. If that's your attitude. You really, really want to find ways for your children to participate, to contribute to the family, and then you thank them for that and praise them for that. Got to start this young, because it's difficult to start with a teenager. You want to start when they're little. And in the Lapin family law there, there is a famous story we used to very much we'd let the children help set the table. And one of our daughters was three or maybe four, and a certain parent, who shall remain unnamed, rather foolishly, took a big pile of about 12 China dishes and put them in the hands of this three year old little girl because she was supposed to, she was going to be setting the table. And of course, they fell right through her hands and smashed to smithereens on the on the floor, and she, you know, I, the unnamed parent, quickly reassured her that it was absolutely not her fault, and we proceeded to set the table with paper plates, which she did, but, yeah, those sort of things absolutely we and it's difficult. Sometimes affluent families have housekeepers or helpers, and it can be very difficult because, you know, you feel we are paying. Somebody to help take care of all of these things. So not surprisingly, the children don't get much of an opportunity to help and do things. But that would be number one in the seven countdown here. Number two, encourage values discussion. Well, for this, you got to have family dinners, you got to have time when the whole family's together, and that that's a rule that at least once a week you have a family meal, particularly one that you know people are not looking at their phones and that they're nobody's rushing off to some event, but a leisurely family meal and have values discussions. What you want to do is, there are many books, by the way, that are available, that stimulate, that give you ideas for discussion around the table with younger children or older children, and helping them understand these things and what, basically, you want to contrive circumstances and say, listen, here's what happened. A certain man named Mr. Jones found himself in a situation. And you build up the situation where, not where there's an easily and obvious good and bad solution, but where there are two equally bad or less bad and more bad solutions. And you get, what do you think he should do? If he were to ask you, what should I do? What's the right thing to do? And, and you teach them and accustom this idea that there is a right way, there's a better way, there's a wrong way of dealing with almost anything. And at least once a week, family discussions on values very, very important and very, very valuable. So please do that. And also make sure I was just checking, because I took some notes before, and to make sure that I covered everything I wanted to share with you here, also make sure that in general, values are coming from the parents, not from the culture. Don't let them pick up values from gigs. Gigs are government indoctrination centers, formerly known as public schools. You know, you put your child on the bus and that's it, as if that is fulfilling your entire parental obligation. That means that the geek is going to be implanting its values in your child, and you really don't want that not one little bit. And so make sure, and you and your spouse ask yourselves from time to time, are they imbibing our values, and what are our values? Now, ideally, you discussed that before you got married, but if you didn't, you should discuss that while you were pregnant, because that's why the good Lord gives you nine months. Because there's a lot to talk about to get these ideas clear, so that from the day one of the baby's arrival on this earth, you are already in a position to convey fundamental principles, the truth. Choose life. That's what this is all about. So that was that was number two, number three. Number three, I would say, is maintain church or synagogue affiliation that I think is very, very valuable, and I'll tell you why lots of relationships is good. Isolation is bad. Single children, if you only have one child, it's pretty rough, and you really have to work hard to make sure. And by the way, here's a really important thing, relation, social relationships and connections do not have to be with the same age group. That is a total myth. Do not believe that one little bit. If there is an older retired person on the block who would be willing to have your little girl come over there for an hour a week or twice a week and be taught sewing, or I'm giving you examples, or, You know, there's a guy down the block who carves wood or he does something interesting. And you can get your son and him linked up to the point where your son talks about him as my friend, you doing good work that that's very, very good. The more of these connections that you're you can build for your children as long as they're with adults you trust valuable, obviously, as your children get older, babysitting, doing service, community service around your neighborhood, all of these things that will help your child. Build up. Your child becomes a teenager. Economic relationships, wonderful, babysitting, lawn mower, whatever your child can do to be of value to neighbors and people in the area who will pay for the service. I know. What is he? Nine year old young man who has made himself a business with his parents encouragement of taking out garbage is to the curb on garbage day and bringing it back afterwards. And you know, I think he charges $3 a week or something for that. You know, most homeowners of a certain level of affluence, very happy to pay the kid down the block. They don't have to worry about it. The garbage is are taken to the curb every single week to be picked up by the garbage service. The empty ones are then later in the day, moved back to where they live. And this is, I think he's a nine year old. This this child I know, and his parents encouraged him to do it, and he's built up quite a book, and now he's started employing some of his friends to work under him. And anyway, all good stuff. These are things that are very, very valuable. And that was number that was number three. Number four is you know the Bible in Leviticus, chapter 19, verse 14, prohibits cursing a deaf man. Have a conversation with your children about it. Why? Why shouldn't you curse a deaf man? He's not hearing you. If you curse him with a smile on your face, he thinks you're saying something pleasant. So why are you not allowed to curse him? And the answer is not because it'll hurt the deaf man. It'll hurt you. The idea is to increase your sensitivity, and that's what we want to do for our children. We want to increase their sensitivity and their empathy for all things, and the way to do that is to expand on that idea and to develop a
Daniel Lapin 37:12
sensitivity and an empathy, even to inanimate objects. In ancient Jewish wisdom, this is one of the reasons that Moses wasn't allowed to turn the river, the water on in the Nile, into blood, it had to be Aaron who did that. Why? Because Moses owed a debt to the water when his mother has put him as an infant in a little arc and floated him down the river, which saved his life. The river helped him, and so he mustn't be the one to curse the river by turning it into blood. Let Aaron, who's a neutral figure, do that these ideas inculcated in young children, five year old child beginning to understand, yeah, you can't curse a deaf man because it's a bad thing for you. You become desensitized. You can't treat badly things that have been good to you. I remember telling my young children the story of a rabbi I knew who could never throw away his old shoes into the garbage. He used to wrap them up in paper before throwing them away. And his children, why? Why are you doing? They said, because I don't want shoes that served me so well for so many years to be lying next to carrot peelings and remnants of soup, or, you know, no protect them from the worst of the garbage by wrapping them in a paper bag before throwing them away. That's a lesson that children don't forget. Don't throw clothing on the ground. That clothing protects you. It keeps you warm and it's cold, it covers your body and allows you to feel dignified. You're not embarrassed by people seeing you naked. You owe something to your clothing. Don't just throw it on the ground and by inculcating in your children these feelings of sensitivity, even to inanimate objects, means that inevitably, there flows forth a bountiful feeling of sympathy and warmth and sensitivity to other human beings. That's number four. Number five is, I know that for many of you, this will be a tough nut to swallow, and you're not going to be eager to do it, but, but think about it. It makes a lot of sense raise your children relating. Just even if you and your spouse haven't yet figured out exactly where you stand in terms of a relationship with God, there is so much benefit and there is so much value. Let me tell you, a godless life is a lonely night life for a little child, it really is. And you know again, if, if any of you have real difficulty with this, and presumably you are all members of the happy warrior community already, so you can write in a question, if you have any trouble with this idea of wrapping yourself around why it's okay. It's not hypocritical. It's okay to raise your children a religious even if you have question marks, if you are not yet firmly decided on where you stand in terms of relationship with our Creator. So think about that very seriously, even if it runs against your grain. Raise your children religiously. What does that mean? Practically? Well, for one thing, that before going to sleep at night, you sit on their bed and before you kiss them good night, have them say a prayer. It's hugely comforting, and apart from its validity, it's nice for children to live in a god centric world. And I'm just checking to see if there's anything else on that. No, that's just, it's a tough it's a tough one for many people, but do yourself a favor. Many, many, many people over the years have thanked me for encouraging them to do that. It's worked out well on a lot of different levels. And number six, make sure that you are your child's parent, not their friend. What does that mean? It means that they behave and speak differently to and about parents than they do to and about friends. So for instance, do not let your children speak about your spouse as him or her or she. You know if, if dad says to the child, what happened to the lemon squeezer, you don't let the child say, I gave it to her, pointing at mother. No, it's mom. It's dad, mommy or Dad, it's father, it's mother. You don't let them use these pronouns for parents. And need to say it goes without saying, your children don't call you by your first name. They'll try it out when they're two or three. It's always very funny, because, you know, they hear you and your spouse talking to each other, and they give it a little bit of a try, and you gently put them right. No, that's daddy. That's not Harold and so you also in terms of, if a mother hears dad asking child to do something, Mother steps in and say, not just now, not later. You do it right away. Daddy asks you to do something. You do it right now. Mom's unloading the groceries from the store. Dad jumps in and says, Johnny, go and help your mommy. Go and help mommy. Look at that. She's done all the shopping. So you're gonna have a nice dinner tonight, help her put the stuff away. And in this fashion, particularly when mother and father can work together on the same page, in that fashion, you make sure that the child sees you as a parent, not as a friend. Obviously, I'm not talking about emotional distance. There's always time for a hug and an arm around the shoulder or, you know, whatever it is, but parents are not the same as friends and last one number seven, do be judgmental about things or people that don't match your family's culture or your family's values. You know, don't try and everything is okay. You sort of find something nice to say about everyone. You know, somebody stole a car. Well, you know that may be part of their culture. It's, you know, different from us. But you know, we shouldn't no judge them. They are savages. They are not civilized people. That's so far away from everything our family believes in. You know, that's an extreme example. But don't be frightened to be judgmental. Be judgmental as much as possible, and let your children understand. That you are judging and you are saying certain behavior, certain speech, certain patterns are alien to our family's culture. And with these seven principles, I believe that under ordinary circumstances and all circumstances, you're going to dramatically improve your family life, you really will dramatically improve it, and in terms of making sure that we don't raise really rotten, callous, brutal children, well, anything approaching the parenting styles that we're talking about over here. You really, really have absolutely nothing whatsoever to worry about and it's certainly something that you can safely do. These things will only bring value. Looking forward to hearing your reactions to this podcast. If you have any questions, please send them in on our we happy warriors website, which is there for the we happy warriors, the happy warriors community, and until next week. Well, next week is already after Christmas, so I need to wish you all, if those of you who are not celebrating Hanukkah, I will wish you a joyful and uplifting Christmas. May it bring huge amounts of light to you and your family and your friends and your neighborhood and your entire society, wherever you are. So until next week, which will be approaching the New Year, I want to wish you a week of great growth, moving onwards and upwards, with your family, with your finances, with your friendships, with your fitness and with your faith. I'm Rabbi Daniel Lapin, God bless.
