TRANSCRIPT
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The Rabbi Daniel Lapin Podcast
Episode: A Secular Young Couple Find Faith & Marry
Date: 02/13/26 Length: 00:46:50
Daniel Lapin 0:01
Greetings, Happy Warriors and welcome to another episode of The Rabbi Daniel Lapin show where I your rabbi, as usual, reveal how the world really works, and today I'm having a conversation with a couple in Los Angeles who are walking evidence of just how the world really works, even when it works in extremely surprising ways. And so I'll welcome Kylie and Daniel Lobell, thank you so much for being with us on the Rabbi Daniel Lapin show today.
Kylie Lobell 0:48
Thank you so much for having us so excited to be here. Big fan of everything,
Daniel Lapin 0:52
so I've followed your writing over the years, Kylie, you've written for many journals and many publications I've seen you in the in the in the Los Angeles Jewish newspaper, if I'm not mistaken, is that where you published your piece on my former synagogue?
Kylie Lobell 1:14
Yes, it was the cover story, Shoal on the beach.
Daniel Lapin 1:17
Yeah, it was, it was, it was wonderful. Thank you. And Daniel, you intrigued me so much that when the idea first came up of talking about Kylie's new book, I thought to myself, This only makes sense if Daniel's in the discussion as well, and I wasn't sure you'd, you'd want to do that, you know, I thought, you know, he's probably tired of being dragged into these things. His wife is very much a public personality and so I was delighted when you agreed. And then I thought about, and I thought you got a background in stand up comedy, so you're ready for just about anything, right?
Daniel Lobell 2:03
I didn't even know I agreed to do this. It's an intervention dude downstairs to say hello to someone, and next thing I know,
Daniel Lapin 2:16
I'm very pleased you did and
Daniel Lobell 2:19
fully intrigued about being here. So thank you for having me.
Daniel Lapin 2:23
Well, thank you. And I'll tell you everybody, I'll tell you a little bit of the background here. And so I have believed, and I continue to believe, that the primary clash, the primary gulf that cuts like a canyon through the culture is not between black and white Americans and not between Jewish and Christian Americans, and not between rich and poor and not between men and women, but it's a gulf that divides those who believe that Judeo, Christian, biblically based religious values are vital for this nation's survival. And on the other side, there are those who believe that those values are primitive obstructions to progress, and there are obviously black Americans and white Americans on both sides, and Jews and Christians on both sides, and rich and poor on both sides, and men and women on both sides. But I've always seen that as the primary divide in America, the most important one, and if I knew where somebody stands on that divide, I got a pretty good idea of how they vote. I've got a pretty good idea of how they feel about male and female biologist. I got a pretty good idea of how they feel about business, finance and the free market. I've got a pretty good idea of how they feel about religion and so it served me very well. So my question is, if we go back to the years, a year, a few years back, when this entire adventure began, and correct me, if I get anything wrong at any point, but my understanding is you're an ordinary Los Angeles couple dating and spending time with one another, and all of a sudden, Daniel, one day, Kylie hits you With a bombshell. And if I've got this right, I'd love to hear what that day was like.
Daniel Lobell 4:48
Yeah, I don't think it's 100% accurate.
Kylie Lobell 4:54
We were in New York, yeah, so we were in New York. Daniel was off. Derek, for a long time, the only thing that he was still doing was going back to Chabad for Friday night dinners because it was low stress and he was broke, and they provided a very nice home cooked meal for free. But really, he loved the rabbi, Rabbi Shmuli Lain and so when I started going to Chabad and fell in love with it, eventually, I told him, I want to convert. Not only do I want to convert, I want to convert orthodox. So Daniel can take it away from there.
Daniel Lapin 5:28
Well, I think you summed it up pretty well. That's, that's what it was.
Daniel Lapin 5:34
Was it a bombshell? I'm
Daniel Lobell 5:38
not sure, because it was more like little bond child's boy grenades, like, I don't know, like the series of grenades.
Daniel Lapin 5:48
So what? What was your first hint of trouble in paradise?
Daniel Lobell 5:58
Well, I took Kylie to a Chabad dinner, and she loved it, and she wanted to learn more about Judaism. I said, Okay, great. And she got I thought, okay, she'll learn a little more about Judaism. That'll be it. I was touring as a comedian at the time. I was going all over the world,
Kylie Lobell 6:16
South Africa. You went South Africa, my Lapin. SPO, oh, yeah, well, you're
Daniel Lobell 6:22
skipping a little bit ahead, but yeah, I was I would go away, mostly to the UK, and do like these stints of shows there, and I come back and her pile of books had grown on Judaism, and I would be like, okay, and then I'd go away again and again. I'd like see less and less of Kylie because the stacks of books were higher. I have to like work my way through them. When I came back from South Africa, she I did a month of shows in South Africa. My whole apartment looked like a Jewish library. So and then she said, I want to convert to Judaism. So I said, Okay, well, I'd had a lot of baggage around my orthodox upbringing. I didn't want to return to that. So I thought, first of all, I didn't know that she was so serious that she was going to go through with it all. But I thought, Okay, I'll indulge her and let it play out. And so I thought, Okay, well, don't do orthodox. And she says, Should I look at reform? And I was like, Well, you know, I don't know for form. I think that's a little bit too different than what I know. So maybe conservative would be a better route. So she started looking into conservative conversions, and you want to take it from there.
Kylie Lobell 7:49
Yeah, yeah.
Daniel Lapin 7:51
Kylie, so Daniel grew up in a in a somewhat observant religious Jewish household. Is that right?
Kylie Lobell 8:01
Yeah, like traditional Sephardic, but then was sent to orthodox school
Daniel Lapin 8:07
and tell me, did it ever, did you ever wonder how he was planning on introducing a blonde, blue eyed Gentile to his family?
Kylie Lobell 8:17
Oh, he did it a week after we started dating, we went there for a memorial day barbecue. That was it
Daniel Lobell 8:24
wonderful woman with black hair and blue eyes. Went really well.
Kylie Lobell 8:34
No, his parents were nice to me. His whole family was nice to me. But, you know, made it clear,
Daniel Lapin 8:40
Daniel, did they privately? Did they tell you, you better not think of marrying her? Yeah.
Kylie Lobell 8:50
Okay, no, he said. He said, You know, I even though I'm not religious myself, but he was very anti religion at that point. He was very into John Lennon's Imagine, for example, he said. He said, I I'd have to marry a Jewish girl. I didn't want to get married. Then he said, I don't even want to get married. And that hurt my feelings even worse.
Daniel Lapin 9:14
So, Daniel, until this time, you had pretty much rejected the religious teachings of your home background. So would you say you fell into the category of a of a secular American? Were you an American wanted very, very little to do with anything having to do with religion?
Daniel Lobell 9:39
Is that point in my life? Yeah,
Daniel Lapin 9:43
okay, and Kylie from about the age of if I remember around about 12, with stresses and circumstances in your home, your parents divorced when you. How old? Five, five, gosh. And so after all, that had settled down, were you also a secular American at that point?
Kylie Lobell 10:12
Yes, I, I didn't. I innately believed in God. When I was a kid, I would pray to Him. And then after, you know, I prayed my parents wouldn't get divorced. They got divorced. I prayed my grandmother was my best friend wouldn't die. She died. So then a friend in summer camp said to me, you know, I just, I just don't believe in God. I didn't even think that was a possibility. And then I was like, Okay, that makes sense, because my life is bad, and all these stories seem so stupid about Noah's Ark and everything, and I don't see any miracles. So I was like, Okay, I'm done. God doesn't exist.
Daniel Lapin 10:45
The name of Kylie's book is choosing to be chosen. And it's a brand new book, and it is awfully good reading and one of their there it is. It is. And one of the reasons that that I was intrigued by it, as soon as you told me of the book Kylie, is because I thought to myself, here's one of the first questions I would like to ask you, and that is looking at the looking at your lives now, do you see your story as anything of a miniature of a larger cultural schematic that is playing out in society? Do you think and do you feel that a lot of people are finding their way to faith? Whilst it's true, many people are also moving in the other direction, but there's a polarization. Is, is, would you see your story of the last few decades, would you see that as a little model of what's happening on a larger scale? And I first Kylie and then Daniel, 100%
Kylie Lobell 12:13
I think that our society as a whole has moved away from God, from going to synagogue, from going to church, and that has been very detrimental, because then these you have to believe in something, so then these other cults come in, you know, if you want to say woke, for instance, that comes in and replaces that, need to be part of a religion, and that's just worshiping the God of woke. It's not actually worshiping God or anything like that. So, I also think that, you know, I closely follow the right. I have, you know, a lot of friends on the right and commentators. And what you see also is people on the far right, Tucker Carlson, people like that, saying there's a Christian presenting themselves as a Christian to draw people in. And that's bad too. There's a lot of fake people out there pretending they believe in God to draw people into their side. And I do think it's a war of good versus evil. I really think that's going on right now. And you know, as a parent, I make sure that my kids go to synagogue, that we know our values. That's very important.
Daniel Lapin 13:23
So Daniel, you rejected the religious approach of your parents, first of all, rejecting it and leaving everything behind, and now rejecting it in terms of being far more religious than your family is. Well, I don't know if I would. I don't want to decide how religious my family is. That's observant. Would that work better? I don't know.
Daniel Lobell 13:53
I'm not going to make a judgment on their level of observance. I don't want to sign on to that one, but I'm we're all on our own journey.
Daniel Lapin 14:03
You're on a path that is more observant than the one in which you were raised.
Daniel Lobell 14:11
It's an argument you could make, yeah,
Daniel Lapin 14:15
and Kylie, you certainly are not following in any way the path set by the home in which you grew up. Yeah?
Kylie Lobell 14:24
I mean, they, they're good people. I also think, no, no,
Daniel Lapin 14:30
not denying that. And this is not, this is not an indictment. I I am now being a cultural anthropologist. That's all
Kylie Lobell 14:39
amazing, yeah, so they I don't, I'm not even sure if they so here's my question.
Daniel Lapin 14:45
Basically, you are both on paths very different from the ones in which you were raised. Yes. What is your approach with respect to your children? Do you want them to follow in your path?
Daniel Lobell 14:58
No, I want them to. Completely reject us and everything we stand for and put us through the ringer. No, God forbid I Yes. I wanted to stick with it. Yes, of course. Because like any parent, you know, you try and set your children up with the best version of life that you can find for them. So that's what we're doing. We want to set them up for success in life, and we want to set them up for a good life, a meaningful life, a life of its values, a life with God and, yeah, it would be very sad if they didn't do that, but hopefully they will.
Daniel Lapin 15:46
And Kylie, what do you say to you know, let's imagine. And I'm sure you don't have a precocious child, but, but if you did, and your child said you Well, look, you know, I don't really want to go to synagogue on Shabbat morning. And in any event, you know, you didn't follow the way you were brought up. Why do I have to follow the way I was brought up? What is the what is the plausible answer to that?
Kylie Lobell 16:10
I think it would be very difficult, but I would consult with someone who's an expert with the psychology of children, because there is something like, you know, you don't want to push them to go to synagogue, for instance, that could also be detrimental. Or, you know, I'm very much for having children in shul. And some shuls you take your kids to and they shush them, even though I'm very respectful and my child barely makes any noise. As soon as they make one peep, they get shush. So there's something to that, too. We do our best to raise our children with love and make it a positive experience, and not like, if you don't say Al nati latsu dying, you're going to be in trouble. It's more so encouraging them, and also, yeah, like, that's what worked for me going to Chabad, it was all love to be hippy dippy. And I also made sure to send my children to schools that are more observant than we are because we aspire to be that way. And I think you have to have a very strong foundation as a child. It's much more black than white when you're a child, and then you kind of decide from there on,
Daniel Lapin 17:14
I've had very much the same conversation. This won't surprise you very much same conversation with non Jewish couples who have found their way back to either committed evangelical Protestantism or in some cases, to Catholicism and they sound so very similar to you. You know you speak about teaching your children to say the grace after meals, or you speak about going to Chabad, which is really a form of evangelical outreach, Judaism, a very warm and welcoming branch. God bless them. They're they have branches in the most unlikely corners of the world, including in Accra, Ghana, when I had to give some speeches there a little while ago, and it was going to be over a weekend, and sure enough, there was a Chabad congregation in Accra in Ghana. So yeah, they're all over the place, and that's wonderful, but this is very much a trend that I am aware of, and it may be somewhat self selective, because people making this journey generally find their way into my orbit and my position on secularism as being chiefly responsible for the collapse of American culture in so many different corners of the culture is fairly well known, and so folks who are traveling in the reverse direction from you Don't, don't often reach out to me, but, but the question I asked them, and I asked you as well, is one of the things we hear from people all the time, and I'm sure in the research you've done for much of your writing, I am positive you've come across this, and that is people who say, Look, I'm all for Having more spirituality in my life. I just don't want religion. What do you say to those people? Why did you reject spirituality in all its vagueness, and adopt not only religion, but perhaps the most intrusive in a positive sense, a religion that demands specific conduct in virtually every area of your life, there is no part of life that is exempt from. From regulation ritual and restriction in Jewish life. So, you know, as Daniel said, you know, you could have gone reform, which requires and delivers very little, but you chose to go Orthodox, the only, in my view, the only authentic choice there is. But why it's so hard,
Daniel Lobell 20:26
I don't even know we did that.
Kylie Lobell 20:29
Goodness people need human beings. Don't want to admit this, but they need structure, and they need rules. It's chaotic when there aren't any look at a society that doesn't have police. Does that function well? And also, you know, I've done so many diets, the only one I could stick to is kosher, because it comes from a higher place, you know. I mean, I see people on the side of the PCH, you know, selling crystals and calling it spirituality. I really don't understand how that's spirituality. For instance, not to knock them. I think they're very pretty. They might do something for your body. Ionization. Is that a word ionizing, something like that. That's what they say, rock salt crystals. But I really think that it falls apart pretty quickly, because people need, you know, they need something like the Torah, which is real and true, and it has things to follow in it. So when I started studying Judaism, I saw that it was the truth. It was answering all these questions I had. For instance, I I said, oh, there's no miracles today, like Noah's Ark. And I learned every day you wake up, was a miracle. Child. Having a child is a miracle. How we get our food as a miracle, it's there. You just learn the truth from it. And I, you know, I saw other forms of quote, unquote, spirituality, and a lot of it is just a sham. A lot of it is a way for people just to make money on people who are lost. And, you know, I really think you need to incorporate the god element and incorporate some rules. Overall, I've seen people who follow religion typically are happier. For instance, I've been friends with and worked with a lot of Mormons, and while we don't agree on ideology, they are the happiest people. They have a wonderful community. They're always doing good and without the god element and the book they follow, I don't think that would be possible.
Daniel Lapin 22:26
And I just recently taped one of my other podcasts in which I made the point that I believe we should judge faiths by the behavior of their adherents, not by their writings.
Kylie Lobell 22:43
Yeah, fully agree. You know,
Daniel Lapin 22:47
our book speaks about carrying a large palm branch and a lemon like fruit for seven days in the year. And that's it's kind of a tough sell, you know, but the reality is that Jews, for the most part, are productive and law abiding and helpful. You're extremely unlikely to get mugged by a Jewish accountant with a briefcase. Not likely to happen. People, members of the LDS church. If you're going to get stuck with a problem on the roadside, let it happen in Utah. There's no better place in the country for it to happen, because those LDS guys will help you. Peaceful people, productive people, great families, everything good, but don't worry about what it says in the Book of Mormon. It's these things are not comprehensible to the outsider. And the reason I'm an Islamophobe, yeah, I am. I'm terrified of Muslims, and it's not because of words written in the Quran or words written in Sharia or words written in the Hadith, and there's plenty alarming words to point a finger at there, but I'm terrified of Muslims on account of how So many of them behave. That's all. And so the conduct, is a much more reliable indicator of the viability and helpfulness of a faith than is the holy writings. And so I mentioned this because right now, people like Candace Owens are pulling out of context pieces of Jewish writings attempting to somehow show that we're a demonic crowd. And it's a tough sell, you know, I mean, if there's any part of town in any city with a Jew. Jewish community. If there's any part of town where you can knock on a door safely and expect to be helped, it's going to be in the Jewish neighborhood. So I'm affirming what you're saying. Did you write the book choosing to be chosen in one furious burst that just poured out of you, like a Niagara like cascade of literature. Or did it, or did it happen over a lengthy period of time?
Kylie Lobell 25:34
Actively, it took six years, even longer, but I did start, you know, the burst of inspiration came when I was I had my second child. I had a newborn and a two year old, and I was in the pit of postpartum depression. And, you know, every child I've had, I've had three children, thank God, horrible postpartum depression. And so I thought, I need to do something to get myself out of this, aside from, you know, getting actual help, therapy and things like that. So I started writing a book, and that's when it really poured out of me, because it gave me hope every single day. Yeah, that's not was about three years ago. It takes a very long time as you publish books, and you know, you know, I had to find an agent, and then they had to find a publisher. And October 7 happened, and the mainstream publishers are pretty much rejecting anything that has anything positive about Israel in it. So I wanted wicked son from the start. Thank goodness. You know that's who I got in the end. And I'm very proud that I'm publishing with them.
Daniel Lapin 26:40
What was the hardest section of the book to write for you?
Kylie Lobell 26:45
Oh, boy, um, I'd say the childhood, the childhood things, um, it's hard to bring that back up, because it's, it's like when I converted, it was like the Wizard of Oz, when they go from black and white to color. That was my life. So just bringing up all those things when you are young, it's like going herpes. You know, every What about your child, or what about your childhood? Or I've done EMDR, and oh my gosh, it was horrible, because you just remember these things. So it does help you process it. But once I started flowing into how I began converting going to Chabad. That's when it really, like, kicked out. That's when my inspiration really started. The other parts were much more stop and go. And also, when you write about people who are still alive, thank God you don't want to hurt their feelings, so you have to be very careful in what you say. I wrote everything and then I edited it so many times because I want to be respectful to everyone
Daniel Lobell 27:43
in the book was originally 5000 pages. I
Daniel Lapin 27:47
can totally believe that, by the way, you're probably exaggerating slightly, but I totally do believe that, yeah, have you had any pushback on the word chosen in the title? So many Jews are awkward and uncomfortable and feel weird about being the chosen people. Has that, has that turned out to be a pressure point,
Kylie Lobell 28:13
not yet from the Jewish community, thank God, but I do get a lot of it on X, either from Trolls or anti Semites or anti semitic trolls who say the chosen people. So I do make videos about it. I make posts about it how it doesn't actually mean that we think we're holier than thou chosen people. We don't think we're better than anybody else. We pay attention to our own things going on in our communities, and it actually means, if anyone isn't aware that God shopped the Torah around to all the nations and the Jews, everyone rejected it, except for the Jews. So we chose to be, you know, God's chosen people were the torch bearers of the world who are meant to bring light and monotheism to the world, like Abraham.
Daniel Lobell 28:58
So in China, the title is the chosen people.
Daniel Lapin 29:05
Well, I very much hope that there will be a Chinese edition very soon, and and I and while we're added a Korean one as well, because I think this book would do exceptionally well in both those countries. I do.
Daniel Lobell 29:21
I'm looking forward to the Korean Twitter.
Daniel Lapin 29:23
Yes, you should.
Daniel Lapin 29:28
I've had experience publishing in both Korea and China, and
Daniel Lobell 29:33
I'm talking to somebody in North Korea about translating the book right now. I think that'd be great.
Daniel Lapin 29:39
Yeah, no, I don't know about North Korea. South Korea is is one of the most religious Christian societies on the planet.
Daniel Lobell 29:50
So you're thinking North Korea is not the place I should have just invested in real estate. Good. Great. Now I find out. No.
Daniel Lapin 30:00
It, Daniel, do you still, do you still do any stand up comedy?
Daniel Lobell 30:05
Yeah, most nights, not Shabbat, but most of the other nights I'm out there
Daniel Lapin 30:10
that is terrific. And is there any material that comes to you from living with a well known author.
Daniel Lobell 30:28
Well, think of something there. I suppose I don't a lot of material about my family, because I don't think it's fair, because they don't get the material back. Well, I keep it. I kind of, you know, there are comedians that do it, and all the best to them, but I just sort of try and keep people in my life, it
Daniel Lapin 30:53
would seem to me that, that that's how they get their cornflakes. So the least they can do is contribute material, right?
Daniel Lobell 31:04
But I think if I was the spouse of a comedian, I wouldn't love the idea of them talking a lot about me
Daniel Lapin 31:16
without did my tiling? Did that occur to you at all while you were dating?
Kylie Lobell 31:21
Yeah, he doesn't do wife jokes, not really,
Daniel Lobell 31:24
not really. If I if there's something particularly egregious, though, it'll go in, but no, I just don't, you know, the truth is, also, it's just not where I find the humor in life. So much like I guess you could find it anywhere, but people mine different parts of life for humor, and that's just not where I've been mining. If I started finding a lot of funny stuff, well there we'll have that conversation. But yeah, yeah, I don't know. I have a little stuff about my kids, but I keep it big too, like, and I don't totally like to put people out there. They don't put them.
Daniel Lapin 32:04
How about religion? Does that come up at all in in your humor,
Daniel Lobell 32:09
I make fun of a lot of the anti semitism that's going on.
Kylie Lobell 32:14
I like your Hitler, your Kanye joke is very funny. Well, thank you.
Daniel Lobell 32:18
Which is that? Well, that's a silly joke where you talk about Kanye was selling shirts with swastikas on them during the Super Bowl last year, and I, I said I went to the website, and it's the only time I ever truly felt discriminated against because they didn't have my size. And you know, fascist and fattest, it's too much. So, very nice. Yeah, I make fun of the anti Semites. I make fun of the gripers and the Fuentes. I make fun of Hitler and I make fun of Mangle. Mangle up. I make fun of the people of and then I make fun of people who are who make fun of Judaism, like I have a joke about somebody who told me that Shabbat was weird, and make fun of that based on what they thought isn't weird and a spiritual person, a spiritual crystal dealer, but, um, you know, so I kind of push back on those pushing back on us.
Daniel Lapin 33:35
Kylie, if you if you had a message for your 12 year old self. What might that be? If you if you could talk to yourself back then?
Kylie Lobell 33:48
I mean, I wouldn't go back and change anything, not even your shirt. No, a because I've seen these movies and they really disrupt the time, space continuum. And I
Daniel Lobell 33:58
don't That's right,
Kylie Lobell 34:02
I know this was a silly campaign a few years ago, but just to say to myself, it gets better. Hang in there, kid, your life will get better. You know, I will in high school, I really struggled wanting to end my life. I'd say like just, life is worth living. Keep going. You will find hope.
Daniel Lapin 34:24
Is there a way of selling a religious lifestyle to a teenager?
Kylie Lobell 34:33
I mean, I've met a lot of Gen Z's because it's our friend's kids. They are so smart. I like as a millennial, I don't like it when other generations put us down, and so I don't do that to the younger generation, Gen Zs, they're anti AI, which I am also. They are pro religion. A lot of them, they, they were saturated so much in social media that they really. Really see the bad effects it had on them. You know, the girl from Stranger Things, Millie Bobby Brown, got married and adopted a baby at 20 years old. And I think that's a beautiful thing. It's not for everyone. It certainly wasn't for me when I was that age. But she has money and she has, you know, fame and power, and you know, that's amazing that she did that, and she's that role model for so many young girls and young men. So I think that this generation is so smart and that they are going back to it. They're going back to in person experiences. They are going back to synagogue that it's different. It's not so regimented, you know, it's not like you pick a shul, and you're a member of that shul, and you know, you pay a membership, and it's more
Daniel Lapin 35:45
shul, by the way, folks, is a very common Jewish word for synagogue,
Kylie Lobell 35:54
yeah, so as an as someone of this generation or older generations, we shouldn't try to sell it to them. We should just live the life and model what you know, what we want them to do. If you want your child to, you know, go to synagogue. Go to synagogue. You can't be a hypocrite. That's number one. You have whatever you want them to do you should be doing, and you should do it in a positive way, no coercion, because then it sells itself. Really, I just my community, like everyone is has a meaningful life. You know, we give back to each other, and that is the number one thing in life. We are put here. God made us so that we could have a relationship with God, and then he made other people so we could have a relationship with others and do good for other people. I've really that's the number one thing injury is, and that's the number one rule of the Torah, be good to others. Basically, believe in God and be good to others. So yes, I have a lot of hope for this younger generation. Gen Zs are very smart.
Daniel Lobell 36:54
I have a slightly different answer on how I would sell religion to teenagers. Yes, please. I would wear a French coat. I would hang out outside of high school, and I'd say, Hey, kid, you want some religion? Got some What do you like? Yeah, you like the Bible, yeah, like the Koran. What do you like here? Religion. I got religion. Got all kinds of religion, like Hinduism. I think
Daniel Lapin 37:23
you're saying that if you can but make religion into contraband, it would become far more popular at high
Daniel Lobell 37:29
schools. There you go. That's very smart. Yeah,
Daniel Lapin 37:33
I like the idea. I think there's a future there.
Daniel Lobell 37:36
You might want to see notes. We'll do the rest.
Daniel Lapin 37:40
And who knows, Chabad might want the idea,
Daniel Lapin 37:48
what is your dream Kylie of if, if choosing to be chosen reaches the size of audience that it deserves to reach, and I hope it will reach what changes on a large scale? Would you love to see happen and be attributable to the book in American society at large?
Kylie Lobell 38:10
Wow, yes, I've thought about this a lot. First of all, I love it when Jews who were born Jewish come to me and say, you know, I was barely down, especially after October 7, about Judaism and anti semitism and banging my head against the wall, what is all this for? And then I hear your story, and it inspires me that, no, like, we actually have something great. And you know, I'm going to shul now. I love receiving those messages. I would love also to reach people who were like me, who didn't have a God in their lives, and show them the beauty of believing in God, get them in some sort of community. I think that that is just leading to so many issues today, the mental health crisis that we have, of course, you need therapy and other forms of help, but I think having God as a belief is so important. You see that all the anonymous groups, alcoholics, anonymous, narcotics, anonymous, etc, they succeed because at the core of it, people believe in God, a higher power, whatever you want to call it, there are so many people who are lost. And if they just first of all believed in God and that higher power, that would be incredible. So I hope that my book and my message is that, and I hope I inspire people Amen,
Daniel Lapin 39:28
absolutely yes. And if you know when you first decided that you wanted to convert to Judaism and you wanted to take religion and God seriously, and you wanted to take the Orthodox direction. What about, you know, if you could have looked into a screen and seen a slice of your life today, what about your life today as a an observant Jew, what about your life today would be most surprising to you on that. Day when you first decided to move in that direction. What about the way it's played out? Has turned out to be the biggest surprise,
Kylie Lobell 40:10
on a funny level, just that I wear a wig when I first converted my friends like, you're not going to wear a wig, are you? And I'm like, No, I'm wearing a wig shade. So as you call it. That's because you have to cover your hair in Judaism, and that I find meaning in it too, because it's, it's very hard. It is the hardest mitzvah for a woman to do. I think at least for me, I'm very sensory too, so it's very hard for me. But on a deeper level, it's very surprising just how, like, I live in a community where everybody gives you're in an Orthodox community, and, God forbid you get sick, you're gonna get visitors. You're gonna get meals. We were robbed a few years ago and I got strep throat at the same time. So many people showed up at our door. A mutual friend, Rabbi Alhan and Shaw came with a huge meal with him and his
Daniel Lapin 41:01
wife, as you know, as you know, who grew up in my congregation.
Kylie Lobell 41:05
Yes, he's amazing. He showed up with a whole dinner from Shanghai. And was
Daniel Lobell 41:09
like, to you, it's amazing. He's wonderful. He's wonderful,
Kylie Lobell 41:15
you know, and people showed up for us. And then I never thought that I would be that person who's also making meals for others and not to like toot my own horn, but that's really going on my comfort zone. I'm very introverted. I've never volunteered or never did anything with charity, never even gave 10% of my paycheck when I was secular. In fact, I would steal things from the store and justify it because I'd say, Oh, it's a corporation and fight back. You know that book? Steal this book like my friend stole that book. And I was like, Yeah, but just so much I've, like, become ingrained in this community, and it's such a it's such it's such a giving community, Orthodox community. So I never thought I'd be the woman, like, making chicken and rice for like, a woman who just gave birth or something, and delivering it to her. And that part about me, it's like, a total, total change. So I'm so glad I'm able to do that.
Daniel Lobell 42:04
I just want to add on to before we move on to another topic. Since we brought up Rabbi Al Khan and Shah, he was a big part of our story and a big part of Kylie's conversion. In fact, he was her sponsoring rabbi and their conversion.
Daniel Lapin 42:18
Oh, I'm so happy to hear that I was not aware
Daniel Lapin 42:21
of that and
Kylie Lobell 42:22
married us, and his
Daniel Lobell 42:23
sister Sarah, living taught us. So yeah, in a in a way, we are being interviewed by someone who had the impact on our life that we are now talking about because you inspired Rabbi shafts family, who, in turn inspired us, and now we get to inspire you on this show.
Daniel Lapin 42:47
You absolutely do that. That is right. I will say that for an introvert, Kylie, you do a pretty darn good interview.
Daniel Lobell 42:57
Thank you. Oh yeah, she's a she's an extroverted introvert. I'm a journalist or so I
Daniel Lapin 43:03
know you, Daniel, you're probably the other way around, an introverted extrovert.
Daniel Lapin 43:08
Yes, an extroverted, introverted expert.
Daniel Lapin 43:10
Yeah, anything. I've asked you a lot of questions, and before we wrap up, any questions you want to ask me? Do
Daniel Lobell 43:23
there's so much rice in the world. Everywhere you go, cultures are eating rice. Asian cultures, everybody, yeah, who doesn't eat rice? India, Latin America, is filled with rice. We have so much rice here, tadi, but how is it with all that rice you walk around the street every single day and you don't see any rice on the ground?
Daniel Lapin 43:52
Well, I would say it's probably just the efficiency of Los Angeles municipal street cleaning services that work diligently and relentlessly to make absolutely sure that there never is any kind of waste on the streets whatsoever, including rice.
Daniel Lobell 44:10
Yeah, well, we know that's not true. So what's the real reason? We'll never know, because as far as my calculations work out, you should be seeing rice everywhere you go, because there's so much of it.
Daniel Lapin 44:23
Yeah, I think that see in your neighborhood is mostly Jews, and Jews mostly eat rice in the form of sushi, where the rice sticks together and you don't get loose pieces of rice floating around. So I think that's probably the metaphysical reason that explains your question, but that, I think, is as far as time allows us to go for today. And so the book choosing to be chosen and a beautiful read. Indeed, and not only for an intimate glimpse into the Odyssey of spiritual discovery of Kylie and Daniel, but beyond that, as I say, almost as a little roadmap for helping you understand what is going on a larger scale in American society, that's how I see it. So thanks very much indeed. I am delighted to have had the chance to chat, and I look forward to talking again and hearing great things. I hope the sales of the book become meteoric very quickly,
Daniel Lobell 45:43
man, thank you. It's truly an honor to be able to be interviewed by you and Kylie and I are both in awe of all the great work that you've done and continue to do in your life. So thank you. No, that's
Daniel Lapin 45:55
very kind of you, and I appreciate that, and I very much enjoy talking with you guys and hope that we have an opportunity when our paths cross to actually, perhaps share a Shabbat meal in person. Amen, okay? And that is as far as we'll go on that interview. And for you happy warriors, there's something to gain from hearing this and from seeing the book, and it will play a role in your five F's. Keep developing those relationships, family and finance, faith, fitness and friendships, the 5f that are fundamental to a well lived life. I'm Rabbi Daniel Lapin, God bless.
