TRANSCRIPT
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The Rabbi Daniel Lapin Podcast
Episode: From Truth to Happiness: Reaching Today’s Young Jews
Date: 02/20/26 Length: 00:40:18
Daniel Lapin 0:01
Welcome to the rabbi Daniel Lapin show, and thank you for being part of the show where I your rabbi reveal how the world really works. And helping me today is Rabbi Mark Wildes of the Manhattan Jewish experience. And we actually go back quite a while. Do you have any idea how long ago it was that you invited me and hosted me as a speaker at your events?
Rabbi Mark Wildes 0:28
You know it's, it's a long time. MJE is 27 years old, and I imagine it was towards the beginning.
Daniel Lapin 0:35
Yep, you're exactly right. Yeah, it was, I don't have the exact date, but somewhere like 2425
Rabbi Mark Wildes 1:29
years ago. Wow. Wow. Wow. It's been a long respite.
Rabbi Mark Wildes 1:53
Of course, yeah, wow. Well, it's an honor to be on it's an honor to participate, and I hope I can help you explain how the world really works. Yeah, exactly. Well, that, of
Daniel Lapin 2:06
course, is my definition of the Torah comprehensive matrix that defines how the world really works. But to just jump back nostalgically for just a moment, and it was really I remember it very clearly. It was a wonderful experience we had at the Manhattan Jewish experience. You know what interests me? Rabbi, while you started that 27 years ago, and it's still thriving today in Manhattan, New York. How is it today different from what you would have depicted had I asked you back then and fall I know maybe I did, if I would have said, what is it going to look like in the year 2025 in what way have things gone in a veered in a totally unexpected direction, and in what ways would you have been quite correct and accurate had you, back then, predicted what things would look like today?
Rabbi Mark Wildes 3:08
So it's a really great question. I could never have predicted the way the world. You know, I'm only a rabbi, not a prophet, but I would say one fundamental difference in we still are reaching out to 20s and 30s, less affiliated or unaffiliated Jewish people that were not raised in religious observance, that's still the mission, that's still a goal, and thankfully, we're still seeing a lot of success in that. I would say the major difference is in our students and our participants. They're as awesome as they used to be, but I think they're looking for something a little different it used to be when we began. And I speak to a lot of my colleagues in the world of Jewish outreach, and they agree, people were really searching for truth. They wanted to know what was what we call in Hebrew, the MS. And you have to make a case that there was a God, and that the Torah that we believe in is really an expression of God's will. And would spend a lot of time speaking about Torah Mini shemaim, the idea, the belief that we have, that the Torah comes from God and to demonstrate, and I still teach that class, and I just wrote a book called The Jewish experience, and it's my second chapter in the book, where I outline why I believe and why traditionalists believe that the Torah that we observe to this day is an expression of God and His will to humankind. But I would say today, people are not as obsessed with truth as much as they are with happiness and with fulfillment. People are
Daniel Lapin 4:30
that's your latest book, isn't it? Yes, that's my latest book.
Rabbi Mark Wildes 4:34
I wrote a book in 2018 on happiness, and it was part of the whole happiness movement that's been flourishing in the United States and the Western world are probably since 2007 2008 and but I wrote this book, the new one, the Jewish experience, to really present what I believe are the fundamental topics of Judaism, God, Torah, prayer, Shabbat, che Kun, Olam, ha. And so on and so forth. But today, people are really looking for fulfillment. There's a real angst and longing and need that people, I don't think, had as much 2530 years ago, for happiness slash fulfillment. There was more of an intellectual pursuit I believe in truth. And today, truth has become a very, very complicated thing. Truth today has become a matter of opinion. I'm not in favor of this. I'm not happy about this progression in our society, but I do believe that that's what's changed, and as a result, people are more driven to try to find how they how they can find joy and happiness in their pursuits, how to find more meaning and purpose in life and and therefore, we've had to shift. We've had to pivot, if you will, to demonstrate how Judaism is not just an expression of truth, but it's really a map towards a happier, more fulfilled life.
Daniel Lapin 6:01
So is your prime clientele? Are they what is called Gen Z?
Rabbi Mark Wildes 6:08
Yeah, they're Gen z's. I mean, they're technically millennials, because 20s and 30s we, you know, our target group is 23 to 38 So millennials refers to the 20s and 30s from like, the previous generation. Now, I guess it's Gen Z, but we focus, we focus on that age for a very practical reason, and that is, we want to make a dent into marriage, and we want to inspire young people to strongly consider only dating Jewish people or someone interested in conversion and and in order to be successful with that population. You know, with that goal, excuse me, we really have to reach out to that population, because these and 30s is still when people are starting to date for the sake of marriage. That's also changed, by the way, which is interesting, 30 years ago, your typical Jewish person who was single, whether they were orthodox or not, was more serious about getting married in their 20s. Outside of the Orthodox world, I would say that that has that has shifted almost a full 10 years, where people are starting to get more serious about looking for a mate to settle down with when they're 3233 it used to be 2223 so that's also been a shift.
Daniel Lapin 7:22
And could you break that down, male and female in your clientele? Yeah, I would
Rabbi Mark Wildes 7:27
say that's another switch. It used to be. I'm not saying there's always more women, generally speaking, and this is anecdotal. I haven't done a study, but based on my experience, there's always been more women more serious about settling down, and maybe that's just a biological clock and Mother Nature speaking, but I find that that's less today than it was 25 years ago. I find that women have become much more in the working world, in professional, aspirational careers, and getting very caught up, like men do in, you know, in being successful in the career, and therefore, okay, pushing off marriage and having children for X amount of more years.
Daniel Lapin 8:13
So among your target demographic, even the women are postponing getting serious about marriage and family by would you say as much as 10 years? Or Yes,
Rabbi Mark Wildes 8:30
up to 10 years, I would say, and some not at all. Unfortunately, in the last five, six years, I've seen this in a lot of social media, there's just been, you know, marriage has taken a beating in this country, and it's not a very popular institution, and now you have a whole other generation of young men and women who are the products of divorced homes. Yeah, right, and that's that's a turn off to
Rabbi Mark Wildes 8:55
daycare. There's a lot of
Daniel Lapin 8:58
research now on daycare having irreversible impacts on ability to bond.
Rabbi Mark Wildes 9:04
Wow, that's fascinating. I'm not aware of that, but I'm not surprised.
Daniel Lapin 9:08
Your Target Demographic may be the first, I don't remember the data, but they may be the first generation to have spent their formative first few years in daycare, not with mom. Interesting.
Rabbi Mark Wildes 9:20
Yeah, yeah. That makes a lot of sense. That makes a lot of sense. Of sense. Crazy, yeah, it's crazy. And it's, I think there's a little of a I think there's this perception out there that with modern technology, we can postpone having children. And there's no question that people are getting pregnant and thankfully, delivering, you know, late 30s, early 40s, in a much more, you know, increased rate than, let's say, 30 years ago, but it's not nearly as much as people are thinking, No.
Daniel Lapin 9:51
Fertility drops off hugely by the late 30s, yeah, yeah. And I mean not to impossible levels, but it's a massive drop off. Yeah.
Rabbi Mark Wildes 10:00
Right? I've been encouraging students to freeze their eggs. That was actually advice given to me by one of my rabbis and teachers.
Daniel Lapin 10:09
Would you? Would you be comfortable saying who it was?
Rabbi Mark Wildes 10:13
I mean, I don't know if he would be comfortable. I would be, he would be but so I'm just going to leave it out if it's okay, but he put me in touch with a very high end fertility specialist who gave me a whole tutorial on egg freezing, and strongly encouraged me to encourage my students, when they're in their 20s, to already freeze their eggs by their by their late 20s, and if they don't know, they're not going to be seriously, you know, dating for marriage until their mid to late 30s, and that actually has been very helpful to some people.
Daniel Lapin 10:47
Did the specialist with whom you were in touch, Rabbi Wildes, give a statistical success rate figure?
Rabbi Mark Wildes 10:56
He didn't. He didn't, I don't know the numbers, but he was very confident, and he felt that that was really an important thing for someone in my position, or other rabbinic mentors, or others, just parents, even friends, siblings. He really kind of wanted to get it out there, you know, hard to tell how much business he was trying to drum up for his practice and how much he believed. But I do think he was sincerely, you know, I'll tell you one anecdote. You know, I have a student, amazing guy, an amazing woman. They were love, and he did not want to marry her, because she was, I don't know, seven, eight years older than him. But when I learned that she had frozen her eggs, I kept saying, you know, he said, well, she's 34 I said, She's not 34 she's 27 because she was 27 when she froze her eggs and they got married, and they, thankfully, they have three children behind her. And so that, that was that that helped allay some of his fears, because he didn't, you know he was getting married, he didn't want to have kids right away, and he was nervous about that. But when, when he, when he learned that this is a legitimate thing, the whole egg freezing, you know? But it's hard. I don't feel so comfortable as a man, to be honest. It's, it's, it's a real procedure. It's kind of invasive, and it's not something I can just get up behind the podium and just tell everybody to start freezing their eggs. But in private consultations, I do encourage a lot of my students to do it's expensive too, isn't it? Yeah, it's not cheap. It's not cheap.
Daniel Lapin 12:24
Rabbi, whiles my my interviewing philosophy is based very much on the traditional examination of students at the yeshiva my father attended before World War Two in Lithuania, and he was shocked when he presented himself for his first examination, and it was an examination on about 30 pages of the Babylonian Talmud. And he sat down before three rabbis, and he was quite pleased with himself, because he had really worked on this. He had anticipated every question they could possibly ask him. And he sat down, perhaps quite smugly, and looked happily at his three interlocutors, who then looked at him and said, so please ask us your most important question. He said, What are you talking about? They said, Well, you've studied 30 pages of Talmud. You must have questions. Go ahead and tell us your biggest question. And he was thrown entirely off his stride, and he What questions do you have about me or our organization? And I can tell ever so much more than I can ever tell by asking them the question I realized that's really the basis of a productive conversation is not just one sided interrogation, but a conversation. So I therefore welcome you to go one for one. Feel absolutely free to throw any questions you like at me in our conversation. And I, I have questions for you as well, and I really
Rabbi Mark Wildes 14:05
like you. No, you really you want a real dialog. I appreciate that. Thank you. That's first of all, can you tell me which yeshiva your father studied in?
Daniel Lapin 14:13
He studied in a yeshiva in a town called tells T, E, L, Z in Lithuania.
Rabbi Mark Wildes 14:19
Oh, wow. And when did he I assume he moved from Lithuania to England, is that that's where you're from.
Daniel Lapin 14:26
Originally, no. As an 18 year old boy, he left South Africa and went to study with his uncle, my great uncle, in London for a few years, and then in about 10 years before World War Two began in September 39 my uncle, who was in England, said, sent my father and one of his sons to Lithuania. Wow. You know that that was the Harvard and the Yale sure of Jewish scholarship and biblical study. And my father, who was traveling. On a South African passport, and Germany was not yet at war with South Africa. South Africa hadn't yet joined the war, if I remember correctly. And so the day that the Germans invaded Lithuania was the day my father took off and and escaped to Switzerland.
Rabbi Mark Wildes 15:18
Oh, wow. And he was in and where was he for the duration of the war?
Daniel Lapin 15:22
And he was in London until 43 and then he actually, in the middle of the war, took a ship, a passenger ship, from England to Cape Town, South Africa, wow, and the ship was torpedoed along the way by a German U boat. But that was apparently par for the course.
Rabbi Mark Wildes 15:45
And how long was he in Switzerland before he made a year? Oh, he was, yeah, about 10 months. Because my mother, blessed memory. Her family was from Germany, and they escaped Germany. 1937 they went to Liechtenstein,
Daniel Lapin 16:01
and the left and sign remain neutral during the war?
Rabbi Mark Wildes 16:05
Yeah, they did, but they didn't know, and they were desperately trying to get visas to come to the United States, yes, which they were able to secure, and they left in 1940 but I just went to an amazing reunion of the descendants, about 60 of us descendants of a small Bavarian town in Germany called Mark Bernolsheim, where my grandfather, my mother's father, after whom I'm named, lived since 1620 lived in this little town in Bavaria. And there's a German police officer, not Jewish, who took it upon himself to do research about all the Jewish families that live there. And we only know this information because of this gentleman who came to the United States about a year ago to present his research about the Jews of Mark Bernolsheim. And they were there, and my grandfather, Max Schoen Walter was there in Mark Bernolsheim from 1620 until the night of Kristallnacht. And he has a picture of the synagogue that was burnt down on the night of you
Daniel Lapin 17:06
say from 1620 you're saying the family lived there. Family lived there
Rabbi Mark Wildes 17:11
four centuries. Shown Walter family. He has all this. This man did incredible research. There were only about 20 or 25 Jewish families in Mark Bernolsheim, and he's spent the last 10 years researching all of their details. And our home happened to be right next door, and the home is still standing there, right next door to the only shul in town, and the Nazis burnt that shul down on the night of Kristallnacht. The only thing that survived is the mikveh, because it was underground, and they have that still preserved. It's an unbelievable so whenever I hear Switzerland, you mentioned that your Father, bless the memory, that he made it to Switzerland before England, there was a group of Jews that moved to Liechtenstein from Germany, because there was one gentleman in Germany that was doing business there already, and he allowed others to work with him. Crazy, crazy story.
Daniel Lapin 18:03
Really weird to be talking about this period of
Daniel Lapin 18:11
oppression, cruelty and
Daniel Lapin 18:14
brutality beyond belief, at a time when right in the Manhattan where you live, the incoming mayor is somebody who seems to be at the very least ambivalent about how he feels about Islamic brutality. Yeah, it must be very strange. It's for you, for you the 20th century and the Nazi assault on Judaism, it's very alive in your family.
Rabbi Mark Wildes 18:46
Still it's very alive. And unfortunately, there's some parallels that are all too stark. You know, my concern, a lot of people said, my concern is mandam, when he gets into office, actually becomes successful. Now, I don't think he can be successful given the policies that he's laid out, and I don't know how serious he is. It's hard to know whether or not that was just a campaign speech, and he's as much of a socialist slash communist as he as he claims to be. And then he's going to implement, you know, free busses, and free this, and free that. It might have just been for, you know, millennial consumption or Gen Z consumption. But my concern is, is what happened with Hitler? And I don't think I'm sounding overly dramatic when I say that what gave Hitler the power to do what he did to the Jews was his success. After 1933 he had some success with his in economic policies, and he was able to then use the anti semitism that was already sort of latent there to be able to galvanize the German people and help bring them out of the malaise they had fallen into after the Treaty of Versailles. And they were sort of, you know, the. You know, bring Germany back to its former glory. And my concern with mandami is that he's going to be become more and more successful, that some of his policies will, or people will perceive him to be successful, and then he could, I mean, he's very open about his views about Israel. He is very, very clear that this is not about Netanyahu. This is not about a particular government that he might perceive as right wing. This is about the very legitimacy of the State of Israel, which he doesn't believe has, I don't believe he believes that
Daniel Lapin 20:32
that's certainly a difference from 25 years ago, isn't it? Rabbi, while we wouldn't have been having this conversation back then, no, it's, so bizarre that in in in one paragraph, we're talking about the events of World War Two. And are you picking up a background?
Rabbi Mark Wildes 20:54
I am picking something, but it sounds like it's coming from your end. I don't have anything here. Strange. I
Rabbi Mark Wildes 21:02
don't know what's doing that. Not at all sure what's doing that. Yeah, I did hear it sounded like something. See if I can, if I'm able, to stop that. I don't even know what it is i
Rabbi Mark Wildes 21:43
Okay, now I do not know what that is. Oh, yeah, that's really not good.
Daniel Lapin 22:00
Oh dear. All right, we may just have to overlook that for the moment. Unfortunately, please mention, would you your newest book?
Rabbi Mark Wildes 22:13
So the name of the book is called The Jewish experience, discovering Jewish thought and practice. And as I mentioned earlier, I was approached about four or five years ago by Corin publishers, and they asked if I would write up my basic Judaism classes. Think they wanted to get their works beyond the Orthodox community. And that's really what I've been focused on these last 27 years, is really reaching out beyond our our dollar, almost as they say, beyond our four paces and but I wrote it in a way that could really, yeah, take it off the shelf. I wrote it in a way that I think is important for both beginners and more advanced students to read, because I don't think the Jewish Day School System, certainly not in the United States, does a great job of packaging and presenting the basic Hashkafa, the basic philosophical outlook of classical Judaism. What does Judaism have to say about our belief in God on both the rational and mystical levels? What is the basis for Torah Mini shemayim, as I mentioned earlier, about why we believe the Torah comes from a higher place, and there's so many Jewish people, yeshiva educated alike, can't really articulate. You know, when the Torah Sheba Khata ends and the Torah Shabbat picks up on something, and how they work with each other to answer, you know, real questions. So I took it on
Daniel Lapin 23:44
like there is there an element of any universalism in that book? You know, is there a reason why a Christian might read that book?
Rabbi Mark Wildes 23:53
Yeah, if someone's interested in the Bible in general, the Old Testament, and, you know, a good Christian should be interested in the Old Testament and they want to understand, let's say, a biblical understanding or biblical viewpoint on these classic topics, including the Sabbath and the Jewish concept of tikkun olam or shed or tzedakah. I think this is a good book for them as well. I do plan Bly Nether to have a second and third volume that will encompass more universal topics, like the world to come or the Messiah that will treat those subjects specifically.
Daniel Lapin 24:30
This is not the book on happiness that tell me that one is which
Rabbi Mark Wildes 24:35
that is another book over there called Beyond the instant. And I wrote that in 2000 and I specifically had it published by a non Jewish publisher called Sky horse publishing. I wanted to get it into Barnes and Nobles, and I wanted to get it out there, because I think that those topics in there are not just about happiness. They're also about, you know, different ways of accessing. Meaning and purpose by by using the prism of Torah. And I think that's really for all people. I don't think
Daniel Lapin 25:05
Tell me then, who is the Avatar, the person you had in mind as you were pounding the keyboard, who's sitting in front of you that you're talking to? What does that person look like, for whom you wrote that book? And what is the the one sentence message of why you should buy that book, the first one, the beyond the instant, or the Yeah, beyond the No, the Yeah, beyond the instant. The Happy book,
Rabbi Mark Wildes 25:30
The Happy book I wrote for I would say a 25 but the truth is, it could be an 85 year old, but I had in mind a 25 year old, 30 year old, young Jewish professional who maybe went to Hebrew school, but never went to yeshiva Day School, has a rudimentary knowledge of Judaism, but the truth is, they don't need to have it. I hear
Daniel Lapin 25:53
the sirens going in the background. Makes me nostalgic for the period I was living in Manhattan, and that became the regular lullaby to which I went to sleep every night.
Rabbi Mark Wildes 26:04
Some of us have learned these sounds relax us, so I wrote it for a 25 year old who has never really seen the relevance of Torah in their lives. Who has seen Judaism as a, you know, a fair and you know and reasonable presentation of ritual to teach you how to be bar mitzvahed, or if you need getting married, you hire the rabbi, and he performs the ceremony. And, God forbid, somebody passes away, but someone who doesn't, who hasn't really been exposed or demonstrated to that, that this path in life could actually bring joy and happiness. That's who I wrote it for.
Daniel Lapin 26:51
Looking again at your target demographic, the Gen Z millenniums, who flock in large numbers to your courses, your teachings. To what extent are they philosophically seduced by socialism? How much of a foothold does socialism gain on their consciousness?
Rabbi Mark Wildes 27:15
I think it's a quick fix. And I think when you I don't have a lot of people coming to MGE, who consider themselves socialist, I think that people in their 20s tend to be more idealistic and less practical and maybe more, you know, as I say, ideological about, you know, that's when people are getting involved in causes and are excited about social justice issues. So I think that to the degree that socialism seems more fair to people that are left out on the fringe and that are not being given the same opportunity, it does have an appeal. It does have a draw. It seems as though it's a more compassionate approach to individuals that didn't, you know, weren't raised with a silver spoon in their mouth and need a leg up, and that sweetness and that compassion, that sensitivity, can go a long way with someone who's idealistic.
Daniel Lapin 28:09
And I'm sure you get asked this quite often, again with Mamdani and being in Manhattan. But what do you say to those who ask you whether Allah is another name for the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, or an entirely different idolatrous entity, my
Rabbi Mark Wildes 28:31
understanding is that Allah is the Jewish God. It's the same God where we veer off from each other is when we get into the prophets and Muhammad, I would say, is not considered in Jewish tradition to be, call it authentic or a prophet of you know of someone that we would follow, or someone that had an actual revelation, whether he had a Revelation, doesn't have relation. He's not somebody we accept, and therefore he developed this whole other faith called Islam. But their god, they're very strict about their monotheism, and I've always felt it was, it was a crying shame that Jews and Muslims, religious Jews and religious Muslims can't get together more because theologically, we probably have more in common than we do with our Christian brothers and sisters.
Daniel Lapin 29:22
I guess this would be the subject for an entirely different conversation, but I could not disagree more. I'm sorry on the other side on that. So anyway, that's certainly would be an interesting conversation on a theological level, but let's stick with the practical for the moment. Yeah, 33 year old guy shows up zero religious connection up till now, divorced, no children, professionally, fairly successful, upper end, successful. And, you know, not quite one percenter, but doing fine for a early 30s guy. But miserable, unhappy. Is basically enjoying a modicum of financial success. He sees more financial success on the horizon, very doubtful as to whether that's going to bring him happiness, and his marriage ended in a shambles.
Daniel Lapin 30:15
Talk to him now.
Daniel Lapin 30:17
Where do you take him?
Rabbi Mark Wildes 30:18
So first of all, I have to do a little assessment and try to get into just his persona a bit and try to understand what his orientation is. He more intellectual? Is he more spiritual? Is he more you know what? What's what makes this guy tick? But I would try, in one way or another, to engage him intellectually, slash spiritually, in Torah mitzvot, whether it was coming on Shabbat, being part of the community learning, get him a khabruta, have him come to my basic Judaism class. I would very much try to enable him to see how a very deep part of who he is is being neglected. I'm a big believer that all the money in the world, all the physical, materialistic pleasures can never give us what we need. I think you do need some basic materialistic things in order to be happy, too, but after you have that level of security, more materialism does not mean more money. All the studies demonstrate this. All studies show that as long as a person has a roof over their head and clothing and they're not worried about where their next meal is. More Money doesn't translate into more happiness, feeling like part of a community, getting yourself into something beyond yourself, like Torah and striving aspirationally towards building yourself from within is a great, great recipe, together with a stable material kind of life is a great, great recipe for improved happiness. And I'll tell you, I asked my wife, she was a perfect example of this. I asked her, when we started dating, she was already well on her way of becoming a balat's chuvah. She wasn't raised in religious observance, and she was very popular with her friends, and she was doing well on her career. And I asked her, What do you need this for why are you pursuing a Shabbat and learning and lot of restrictions that you never had growing up?
Daniel Lapin 32:07
Is it's a good question to ask anybody dual Christian who embraces faith. It does come, obviously, with rules and regulations and rituals and restrictions,
Rabbi Mark Wildes 32:19
you know. And she said to me, very simply, she said, I just can't believe that this is it. I said, What do you mean? What is it? I just can't believe that this is all of life, that I get a good job, and I have my friends, and one day I'll be blessed with the family, but that there isn't something deeper. She just naturally intuited something beyond herself that she wanted to tap into. And I and she and then we were talking about it, and she said, I just there has to be more to life, she said. And then I took that phrase and I put it on the top of my brochure. Still have it here, because there has to be more to life. And I think people that are spiritually sensitive into it that there's something deeper, beyond the brain and beyond material success and beyond just our everyday lives and having a little more fun on the weekends, that there's got to be something else, whether you're Jewish or not. And I think that's an incredibly powerful and that's why it doesn't really matter how much money a person has, you can have a person incredibly unsatisfied with life and really feeling a lack who has three or four homes and not thinking about money at all because they have so much of it. I think we outreach will always be offering that, and I think doing outreach today is much more complicated and difficult than it was when I started out and I started to share with you why that is. But we have the opportunity to really share a more meaningful existence with other people, and people are looking for more fulfillment in life.
Daniel Lapin 33:49
You know, again, another area in which I somewhat disagree. I'm salivating at the thought of having more conversations on this perhaps next time I'm in New York. But whilst I don't think having or getting more money makes for happiness, I think that the act, the creative act of making money, can be happy making procedure.
Rabbi Mark Wildes 34:12
It could but, but if it doesn't leave you with a deeper sense of who you are and why you're here, I think the Act of, like you just said it nicely, of making money and getting the deal and putting different people in the same room and concluding and building something. Building something is an enormous sense of fulfillment. But I've met people, you know, I have to do a lot of fundraising, so I've met a lot of people with a lot of money and and I've met people who put together billion dollar deals, and they are desperately seeking something deeper in their lives. Yeah, sure.
Daniel Lapin 34:48
Last question, if you don't mind, Rabbi while Yeah, so a 17 year old boy just finished high school, 1718, Just finished high school, comes to you and he says, Rabbi, Wiles, I've been following you. I've been listening to you. I know what you're doing. I know what the Manhattan Jewish experience is. I've read your books, and the truth is, I do not want to become one of your clients in 10 or 15 years time, I'm 18, I'll do whatever you say. What should I do with my life? Starting now? I have no preconceived notion, college, university, yes, no trade, profession. I don't know. What should I do with my life so is that when I am 35 I'm going to say to you, thank you for setting me on the path and making me do the things that I've done and brought me to where I am.
Rabbi Mark Wildes 35:51
I would that's a great question. I would say two things. I would engage that young man or woman in Torah study, because no matter what happens, if you can get somebody to see the wisdom of Torah, that will enable them to fall more and more in love with their Judaism, and they will start seeing the relevance and feeling a sense of spiritual fulfillment just from the learning experience. And by the way, if it doesn't work the first time their Harvard or their class, the book you suggested they read, if that didn't really quite do it. You don't give up on that. You give him a different book, a different class, different and then the second thing is Shabbos. Shabbos is so desperately needed today, and Shabbos is such a it's such a gift, and it's much more. It's perceived as a great people were not as crazed
Daniel Lapin 36:39
that I agree with you 100% that
Rabbi Mark Wildes 36:41
they were not as crazy technologically. I mean, Judaism seems so brilliant and beyond its years, because we tell people to turn the phone off for 24 hours, you know. And I will tell you when my daughter was that age, and she came over with a group of friends, maybe she was a year younger, 16, and we went around the table, and we asked everyone, what's your favorite thing about Shabbat? And one of her friends said that I can't use my phone. She was raised Sabbath observant. And I was like, I was a little surprised. I mean, these girls heads are buried in their phones, including my daughter. And then when, when we got to my daughter, she said the same thing. She said, it's such a great break. I love it. It's such a relief. I said, Honey. I thought you just yeah, this is the way we operate. But if we can get away from it and not feel anything negative, because she's operating in a social circle where they're all turning it off, so she's not, she doesn't have the FOMO of what she's missing. You understand so, so I would say the second thing for that 17 year old is, is, is join us on Shabbat. Come to a Shabbat dinner, come to the service, come to my home for a meal,
Daniel Lapin 37:53
and with he continue. He's a boy 17 or 18. He says, Rabbi wilds, any advice from the Torah you love with regard to how I should be looking at money, professional life, career, and how I should be looking at women and marriage.
Rabbi Mark Wildes 38:10
Yeah, if you really buy into Judaism, then your job and your marriage and everything is very they're not ends to themselves. They're all ways that we can develop ourselves in such a way as to connect ourselves with our Creator, with our with, you know, with our source, right? And marriage is an incredibly powerful way, and so is your work. And not just because I need to earn enough money so I could, so I could pay the rabbi to, you know, to teach me. But as I think you were touching on this before rabbi, that that sense of accomplishment you get when you're building something, and what God told Adam to keep shuha that you need to conquer the world and harness the forces of nature make the world a better place, that is a divine task, and that's another way of feeling closer to our Creator. So these are all tools and and if you could, if we could inspire more and more young people that the the, you know, the Torah is approach to human existence is a comprehensive one. It's all designed to help us achieve more meaning and purpose by developing these relationships. And all of the mitzvahs are there to have the best marriage and to have the best job, and, you know, or to approach the job in the right
Daniel Lapin 39:24
way. Any last questions for me,
Rabbi Mark Wildes 39:27
what keeps you Rabbi? Because I will tell you, you're a great inspiration to me and to a lot of others. And I'm doing this a long time, but you're doing this longer. What? What keeps you energized, excited and inspired to continue to teach, to continue to inspire other people,
Daniel Lapin 39:46
the audience, the you know, ancient Jewish wisdom speaks of the fact that a cow has a greater desire to be milked than the calf has to drink. And so. I just love having an audience. I love having people who are thirsty for ancient knowledge, and I call it ancient solutions for modern problems. That's what I teach. Wow, that's beautiful. And so and so I leap out of bed every morning eager to return to work.
Rabbi Mark Wildes 40:22
Well, next time you're in New York City, it would be the greatest honor to host you. It's been way too long
Daniel Lapin 40:28
for 2025, years.
Rabbi Mark Wildes 40:31
That's crazy. Yeah, you look, you look wonderful rabbi. And I quite applaud your I applaud your continued just enthusiasm and encouragement.
Daniel Lapin 40:42
Now, listen, it's wonderful that you've been at this. I mean, to be at the thing you began building in your youth is
Rabbi Mark Wildes 40:50
really quite Terrific. Thank you so much. I appreciate that.
Daniel Lapin 40:53
All right, till, till we talk next time. Rabbi wiles. Thank you very much.
Rabbi Mark Wildes 40:58
My pleasure. If anybody wants to get a copy of the Jewish experience, you can get it on amazon.com,
Daniel Lapin 41:04
[email protected] and appropriate for readers of every background or no background at all. Correct, correct, exactly. Wonderful, all righty, until we talk next time, Rabbi Wildes. Thank you. Hatzlacha, ongoing success.
Rabbi Mark Wildes 41:20
I mean, I mean too as well, bye, bye.
